No Fate But What We Make
by angel eyes1 uk
Summary: Post-Breaking Dawn, a thirteen-year-old Renesmee runs away after her second senior prom to find Jake, shattering her dream of happily ever after. Traveling with a young vamp that she finds in the forest, can she find the understanding and love she wants?
1. Chapter 1

**No Fate but What We Make**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Post-Breaking Dawn, a thirteen-year-old Renesmee sneaks away after her second senior prom to find Jake, only to find him doing something that shatters her dream of happily ever after. Nessie runs away, only to come across a young bad boy vampire in the forest. Can she find the freedom, love, and understanding she wants? And at what cost?

**~X~**

**Chapter One **

**I do not own Twilight—no copyright infringement intended.**

Okay, so all of my friends have disappeared off with their dates and left me. The fact that I have nothing better to do but drink beer from plastic cups is all their fault, and now I'm rolling drunk. I can't handle my booze—they know that.

Not that I'm a dateless wonder. I arrived with Cam, but he's elsewhere. Not that I'm surprised—we're at a senior prom after party and everyone is looking to get off with someone. It's just that Cam has to be more secretive than most.

Everyone should have a gay best friend. No one knows that Cam likes guys, of course—so far as the student body is aware, he is the high school hunk and star quarterback. Girls fall over themselves to talk to him, but for appearances sake, he's my boyfriend. I guessed that he was gay and confronted him after the first time dad gave him a lift home from school and was then perfectly fine with me hanging with him.

Not that Cam knows my dad ismy dad. Dad is pretending to be my older brother—my very protective older brother. I haven't forgotten how he was the last time he went through high school with me, though I think the pretend boyfriend thing keeps him slightly calmer. The act is perfect because it explains my lack of interest in dating anyone else. Plus, I don't have to explain that I've already met the love of my life and that I'm just waiting to reach eighteen before we can be together.

It sucks that we've had to wait this long, but Jake is _so_ worth it. He imprinted on me thirteen years ago, just moments after I was born. I can't remember a time when he wasn't there; he finds it difficult to stay away for too long, and I love that fact. None of my friends' boyfriends could ever be that devoted, and frankly, I'm pretty smug about it.

I've been in love with Jake since my teenage hormones kicked in when I turned five-years-old. One of the downsides of accelerated growth is that I've always felt older than my actual age in years on earth. It's kind of frustrating, because my family prefers to work on my actual age. I'm still thirteen, even though I've just finished high school—_again_.

My argument is that if I'm old enough to go to school with teens then it should follow that I'm treated like a teenager. After all, my teen and twenty-something year old family don't act their actual ages. Dad, particularly, just doesn't seem to want to allow me to grow up.

Physically, I've been a seventeen year old for a while—just like Dad. I was hoping I might grow a little bit more, maybe fill out in a few selected areas, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm the same height as my mom, with my dad's distinctive bronze hair and Mom's brown eyes. Okay, so with my cleavage, I'm not going to be featuring on a centerfold anytime soon, but that's cool. At least I can get away without wearing a bra, right?

Tonight, to help fill out my prom dress, I've had to rely on padding. I'm sure I'm not the only one here, but certainly the only one amongst my friends. Carrie, especially, has an impressive rack. They look awesome.

Once, I tried suggesting surgery to my dad. Never again. Then Grandpa mentioned that implants wouldn't work with my physiology. It's not nice knowing that I'm going to spend eternity in a training bra.

Things could be worse, though. Luckily, being only half-vampire, I can socialize more than the rest of my family, and I get a little separation from them at high school by hanging with the popular crowd. I can pass for a regular human, and although I drink animal blood, I don't freak out the student body. It might have something to do with the fact that I brood less, and I don't stare at others like I want to eat them.

Same as last time I went through this, my various relatives—posing as cousins or siblings, adoptive or otherwise, rather than parents or aunts and uncles—hang around together like a set of stylish losers. Some people think they're spoiled rich kids, and others are just too subconsciously creeped out by the predator vibe they give off.

I get tired of people asking me what's with them. I just blame it on Social Services and the care system. That seems to satisfy my friend's curiosity when it comes to my antisocial family—most of the time.

I tried to explain Uncle Jasper's hungry glares to my friends at my old high school by saying that Aunt Alice had actually taken a vow of chastity. That backfired when my former friend, Demi, had used that as a sign that she might have a chance of stealing him away. She did offer him some kind of relief, but not in the way she'd had in mind.

We had to move away after that. It was a shame as I was hoping we could have stayed for a while, and I could have at least pretended to reach my twenty-first birthday.

Anyway, back to the present. Cam has disappeared off and I'm strongly suspecting that he's not alone. I'm bored, and very, very drunk. An idea comes to me—I can go visit Jake. I'm sure Jake wouldn't mind a little impromptu visit.

He lives in a cottage on the edge of the grounds of the main house. The rest of the pack all have their own places, too—Leah, Seth, Embry, and Quil. Though, Quil spends most of his time back at La Push with Claire.

I prefer this place to our home in Oregon, but it's not as nice as Forks. I miss the old house, where I spent my early childhood, and it's been too long since I went to visit Grandpa Charlie.

Stumbling to my feet, I realize that standing suddenly seems very difficult, and the room is spinning.

"Whoa. Careful, Ness." Some guy whose name I can't remember helps me steady myself, and I giggle before pushing him away and heading to the door, but not before taking a deep lungful. He smells tasty.

Yeah, it's time for me to leave now. Drink does nothing for my willpower.

Once I'm out in the night air, I have to take a few moments before I continue as the alcohol in my system almost gets the better of me. If I have to empty my stomach, then there's going to be questions if I spew up blood diluted with beer. A trip to the hospital isn't exactly advisable with my biology, and Grandpa Carlisle isn't working tonight.

I stumble across the parking lot and hear footsteps behind me. As I swing around, I almost lose my balance but a hand on my shoulder keeps me pretty close to upright.

"Ness, where are you going?"

It's that guy again. I roll my eyes—or maybe it just everything around me that's rolling, I'm not sure.

"I'm going home," I slur.

Before I manage to take more than three steps, the hand is on my shoulder again.

"Haven't you got a ride? You can't walk all the way out to your place."

I scowl and push his hand away. "Don't touch me. It's none of your fucking business how I'm getting home." No doubt he's just pissed because his date has left him at a prom after party, and he's looking for someone else to pair up with. That's not going to be me.

"Wait here. I'll call you a cab. I wanna make sure you get there okay. You shouldn't be wandering around on your own. You can barely even stand."

"What? I can handle myself. And I'm not walking...I'm running home. It'll be quicker that way."

"Right." He pulls out his cell and puts it to his ear. I swipe it away, and it flies up into the air before smashing on the floor some distance away.

"I don't want you to call me a cab. Just leave me alone, okay?"

The boy backs away, and as I turn and reach the bottom of the drive, I hear him mutter, "Stupid rich bitch," under his breath.

Once I reach the road, I check around me to make sure that the coast is clear, and then I break into a run in the direction of home. Well, almost home—Jake's cottage. I only hit two trees, but luckily, it helps sober me up just a little. By the time I break through the tree line, I can at least do a passable impression of a straight line. Breathing deeply, I inhale Jake's familiar scent into my lungs.

I wonder if he'll let me bite him tonight? Even half-vampires get the munchies when they're drunk, and Jake is so much better than elk or even mountain lion.

A second sniff tells me that Leah's been here recently. Leah isn't hugely fond of me, but there again she seems to feel that way about most of my family, so I don't take it personally.

As I get close to the house, I stop to check my reflection in the window of Jake's car.

Wow. I look like crap. I have bits of twig in my hair and I look like I've just sprinted at inhuman speeds through a forest in a prom dress while drunk. Great. Way to make an impression, Ness.

I straighten myself up a little before climbing the steps to the porch. When I try the door, it's locked, so I force it open. I'm sure Jake won't mind fixing it tomorrow.

As I step through the doorway, my eyes widen and I freeze as I see something that takes a few moments for my brain to comprehend.

Jake is lying on the hallway floor…on top of Leah…and they're naked.

I stare at them confused.

"Shit. Ness."

They're having sex. _My_ Jake is having sex. With Leah.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Some part of me refuses to believe what I'm seeing, and so I continue to gape in silence as they scramble for their abandoned clothing.

But he was waiting for me, wasn't he? This can't be happening—I'm his imprint. Aren't we destined to be together?

My bottom lip trembles and I turn and run.

"Wait, Ness! Come back. "

I head back to the forest before the tears can start, but before I get too far, I hear the familiar sound of wolf paws behind me, and I slow.

"Jake."

I turn around slowly to see him behind me in wolf form. He pads up, and instead of rubbing his russet snout like I usually would, I just stand and look back at him.

I'm hurting—I feel betrayed. I feel like an idiot.

After a few moments, he trots off into the undergrowth and about twenty seconds later, Jake in human form walks back in just a pair of sweat pants. His eyes look pained and he struggles to spit out what he wants to say.

"I'm sorry. It's just…Leah and I…"

"I know exactly what you and Leah were doing. I'm not a child."

Jake goes to say something, but obviously thinks better of it. After a few moments of silence, he sighs.

"You shouldn't have seen that. You weren't ready. I just thought that if you were a little bit older…you might understand."

"I might understand what?" My voice is a high-pitched screech. I want to bite him, to take a chunk out of him, and not just playing this time. I want to hurt him, like he is hurting me.

He looks down at the ground. "I know you have a crush on me. It's just that…I've seen you grow up from a baby. I love you to pieces, Ness—just not _that_ way."

His words tear my insides into shreds and I unsuccessfully repress a sob. "You don't feel that way? So why did you let me think that you did?"

"Ness, I…" He looks so forlorn, and my heart twists in my chest.

"But I thought that…"

"I'm sorry, Ness. I tried not to lead you on." Jake runs a hand through his hair. "I've only ever said that I'll be there for you, to protect you. That I'll be there whenever you need me, and I mean it. It's just that, thinking of you like_ that_, just feels…wrong."

Realizing how wrong my perceptions were, I try to swallow down just how mistaken I really have been. I'm breathing hard, trying to hold back the tears welling in my eyes.

"But, I'm your imprint…"

"I know, and this doesn't change that. You're everything to me, Ness. That's why it kills me that I'm hurting you. I never meant to—I just didn't know how to do it right."

I give a humorless choked laugh. "Well, that was probably the worst way for me to find out. How long have you and Leah—"

"Since your third birthday," he blurts out and then watches for my reaction nervously.

Ten years. This has been going on under my nose for a decade, and I never suspected a thing.

The gut-wrenching hurt turns into a flush of anger. He obviously knew that I liked him, and he never once let me know that there was something going on with his beta. Surely he could have said something, rather than have me waiting all these years thinking that he was mine.

My dad or Alice must have known—my buddy, Seth, too. Why didn't they say? I think back and a million throwaway comments suddenly have a more sinister meaning.

Everyone knew but me. I feel humiliated. Betrayed.

With a sniff, I wipe away a stray tear and force words past the lump blocking my throat. "I'd like to be alone now, Jake." My voice is shaky. "Will you tell Mom and Dad I'll be back by dawn?"

Jake doesn't want to go, I can tell.

"Please, Jake. I have a few things on my mind. I don't want you here."

"But—"

"Jake. _Go away_."

With that kicked puppy look in his eye, he turns away and runs into the trees. After a few moments, I hear a mournful howl.

Now that he's gone, I hunch in on myself and drop to my knees, allowing my sobs to come now that no one else can see or hear. I wail and let everything that I'm feeling out.

Whenever I picture Jake, the bottom of my stomach plunges, and the pain is physical. I decide that I hate Leah. If she was here now, I'd kill her with my own bare hands. I'd let my vamp side have free rein and tear her throat out.

How can I be around her now that she's with Jake? My Jake. My wolf and constant protector since I was born.

Though, I guess he's just as much hers as mine—maybe even more so. It can't have been easy keeping the secret all these years.

I don't know how I'm going to look at any of my family now I know that they were all keeping this from me. What did they expect? Did they think it was just some teenage crush? That I would grow out of it?

I'm his imprint. Was it really so unthinkable that I might assume that meant we would be together? For a second, I dare to hope that this is all a bad dream, or that Jake will come running back and tell me that he's changed his mind. I'm hoping in vain and I know it.

With a snotty intake of breath, I get to my feet and look down at myself. I have mud and bits of undergrowth stuck to both me and my dress. If I looked like hell when I checked my reflection in the car, I hate to think what I look like now. After a good cry, I bet I look ten times worse—I bet I look like…

A crazy wild woman.

I stand and turn the idea over in my head. I don't want to go home. How can I after all this?

I can't go back. But there again, why would I have to? I'm a super-intelligent thirteen-year-old with the body of a seventeen-year-old girl. I have superhuman speed and agility, unnatural strength, and I don't even need food to survive—other than full vampires, I'm the deadliest creature in the forest.

Why on earth would I want to go back to a bunch of traitors? The answer is that I wouldn't.

They make me pretend to be something less than I am. They give me a taste of a real life by making me go to school, hanging around with human teens that have more freedom than I do.

They think I'm a child and will always treat me like one. All my time on earth, I've been wrapped in cotton wool, allegedly protected from anything that could possibly hurt me. Yet, the people I love have hurt me more than anything else ever could.

I'm practically a woman. I don't need anybody.

It's decided. I'm running away. I'm not even going back for clothes.

Then, I think "crap" and decide that I'm going to decide everything on the spur of the moment to avoid Aunt Alice keeping track of me. I'm going to wander wherever the hell I feel like, and I'm going to live as dangerously as I can. This is the new Renesmee Cullen. The new Ness is her own girl, and answers to nobody.

Now that my anger and self-determination is masking my hurt slightly, I turn in the opposite direction of home and hurtle through my trees. I don't know where I'm heading, but I'm getting there fast. It doesn't take long until my shoes break, and when they do, I throw them into the forest, laughing.

I don't give a damn, I tell myself.

The speed and the uncertainty is liberating. I've spent my whole life knowing what is coming next, feeling as if everything was mapped out for me. High school, college, the cycle repeated over and over again. I had planned to go to Harvard to study medicine next—mainly to help out Grandpa Cullen and help him keep his training up to date. I was going to study law next time, as Jasper's contact was getting a little old and it would be nice for us to be a little more self-sufficient.

Jake. I had always thought that I would end up with Jake, we'd get married, and maybe have children if I was as fertile as my irregular menstrual cycle suggested I might be. Now, that wasn't likely to happen.

Everything I had once thought was set in stone is now turned on its head. Until now, I never realized exactly how suffocated I'd felt.

There is a whole world out there for me to see. I can live for an undetermined amount of time, and I want to see everything.

I run for what seems like ages, but it's still dark. It's then that it hits me. Hangover.

I slow down as I feel nauseous, and a splitting headache starts throbbing in my temples.

Well, if I'm going to be a nomad, I had best get used to sleeping in the woods, I guess. I stop and slump to the ground against a large, smooth boulder. I have no idea where I am.

When I wake up, I'm definitely going to have to find a town, and get some more practical clothes—maybe a tent and a blanket. I definitely need some face wipes and a hair brush.

Despite feeling hugely uncomfortable, it doesn't take long until I'm fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

I'm aware of the cold air even while I sleep. In my dreams, I replay the events of the previous night over and over—dancing and smiling at the prom, drinking, destroying that guy's phone, running while drunk, finding Jake and Leah on the floor, and Jake's words…

The scenes mix themselves up in a jumble and I feel myself twitch and fidget. I can't find a comfortable position and I toss and turn.

Despite being unconscious, my nostrils flare and when they detect vampire, I'm suddenly alert and wide awake.

I sit up and it takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust. It's still daylight and I blink. Before me there is a silhouette, but it's not one that I'm familiar with.

Leaping away, I land in a crouch and snarl—my vampire side coming to the fore to protect me.

"Please. If I was going to harm you I would have a long time ago. I've been watching you for an age."

The stranger is a dark-haired boy…and a vampire. A stray beam catches his face and it glitters; his eyes are red and his skin pale. I get the feeling that he's familiar, but can't quite place the face.

"Who are you?"

"What does it matter? You know what I am, but I'm just trying to figure out what _you_ are." He slowly takes two steps in my direction. "You're not human, but you're not like me, either."

"I'm a hybrid." I answer.

"A hybrid? Half-vampire, half-human?"

I nod my head, and the stranger laughs.

"You mean a vampire impregnated a human, and allowed her to live?" He finds this highly amusing. "Ah, that's too funny."

"Well, glad it brightened your day. Don't you have anything better to do, or are you just going to stand there and laugh at my parentage?"

He looks down at his wristwatch. It looks expensive. His clothes are designer, and he looks a little too groomed to be your average nomad.

"Now that you mention it, I don't have anything better to be doing. And laughing at you might kill a few hours before I can go hunting, so…"

I straighten up and look at him in irritation. He's cocky, too.

"So, do you have a name?" I ask.

"Alec. And you? Or do free-ranging hybrids not concern themselves with such things?"

"Ness." I'm suddenly aware that I'm covered in dirt, wearing a dress fit to be rags, and I most likely have twigs in my hair. The way his eyes look at me with disdain, I realize that he's noticing, too.

"Ness—short for?"

"It's just Ness." I have a pretty distinctive name. If this vampire knows my family, I don't want him letting them know where I am. I haven't had a full day of freedom and I'm not ready to consider the idea of going home yet.

"Okay." He puts his hands in his pockets and leans against a tree. It's then I recognize that I'm a few inches taller than him. He's a lot younger than his arrogance seems to suggest.

"How old are you?" I've decided that I'm not going to be polite. Alec certainly doesn't seem to want to put the effort into pleasantries either.

"Older than you, I bet."

"Smart ass. I mean, how old were you when you were turned?"

"Sixteen. Why do you ask?"

"Liar."

"I've been on this earth around twelve hundred years. What does it matter how old I was?" He's bothered, and I can tell his physical age is a sore point.

I smirk at him. "Well, you look kind of young."

"Age is irrelevant. You are new, I can tell. How old are you exactly?"

That's when I cringe. "I'm seventeen."

He sneers. "Really? I could have sworn you were more like thirteen."

I gasp, but then I realize that he's teasing me. He doesn't really know my actual age. "I'm not thirteen," I lie.

"Okay, so I'm twelve-hundred, and you're seventeen. Either way, you need to learn to respect your elders."

One of my eyebrows rise. Part of me wants to tell him to go get lost, but then, part of me wants a little company—at least until night falls and I can go find some supplies.

"Um, so do you know whether there's a town close by?"

"Yes, about twenty miles back that way—" He points out a direction. "—There's a small town. Nothing spectacular, but it'll do. Why? Do you need to feed?"

I chew on my lip. This vampire's eyes are red. He's going to think I'm even more of a freak if I admit that I only drink animal blood or eat human food.

"No, I'm good for now, thanks. I need a few things—clothes, for a start."

"Well, I wasn't going to say, but you do look like you were dragged through a hedge backward."

Before I can react to his comment, the tone of his vowels reminds me of Grandpa Carlisle. "You're English."

"Correct. So you aren't entirely stupid. That's reassuring."

"Wow, so polite and friendly. No wonder you have so many friends." I make a big show at looking around the empty forest.

He sniffs, and I award myself a mental point. An uncomfortable silence grows, so I avoid his eyes and busy myself picking bits of foliage off me.

"You have a few in your hair. And you could do with a shower."

"You could do with a personality transplant, but do you hear me complaining?"

He laughs. "Yes, actually. I do." He throws a leaf in my direction, but the wind catches it and it blows away. We both watch it as it falls to the ground.

"So what are you doing in the forest anyway?" As it seems like he plans on hanging around for a while, I decide that I'd best find out a little more about him.

"Nothing much. Amusing myself." He smiles. When he does that, he actually looks a little like a human, but then the sun bounces off his skin and I'm reminded that he's a vampire. Not that vampires are unusual for me. It's just that Alec seems somehow…different.

He's dangerous. He's rude and a bit of an ass. For some bizarre reason, I find that kind of cute. I'm probably just rebounding on the first guy that comes along after last night. As the memories flood back, my attention drifts.

"Earth to Ness. What are you doing wandering around looking like a waif and stray?"

"Oh. Yeah. Um, you could say that I've decided to do a little traveling for a while."

"And the dead prom queen look?"

"I decided to travel immediately after prom. Problem?"

He smiles again. I smile back.

"Not at all. So…where are we headed?" His face is mischievous. I don't miss the vital word in his question.

"We?"

"I figure that you could do with a little company, providing you clean yourself up a little, of course. I wouldn't want to be seen associating with someone who looks like an amateur dramatic rendition of "Carrie.""

"Is that so? You know, if you were a gentleman you'd at least offer me your jacket."

His smugness is my only reply.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

We run side by side. I'm in a bad mood because Alec saw fit to point out that I was much slower than he is. I want to ask how much further we have to go, but I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of hearing the irritation in my voice.

Thankfully, I catch sight of a few lights in the distance, and I know we're getting closer.

"As we're looking for supplies in the small hours, I assume that you're not intending on paying for them?"

Ridiculously, I only now think about money. I usually carry a purse with me with a couple of twenties inside for show, but being a millionaire in my own right already, I'm not used to having to consider having to pay for anything. Mom, Dad, or Aunt Alice usually realize that I might need something before I do. Everything I ever want is usually there waiting for me.

I quickly open my purse and find a lipstick, a compact, and my bank card. Should I draw out some cash and risk Dad figuring out where I am?

Remembering Aunt Alice's amazing yet irritating ability to read the future, I decide that tonight I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens.

"I don't know. Let's see what we find, okay?"

"Oh, spontaneity. I love spontaneity."

I chuckle, and forget that I was mad at him.

"The hard part will be finding somewhere to shower and change once I have what I need."

"Hard, why? All you have to do is find an empty house…or a soon to be empty house." His toothy grin reminds me of the fact that his diet differs to the one I'm used to. Not that I've never had human blood before—I know how much better than animal blood it tastes, just I've always had it from more willing sources.

"You look confused."

"No, I'm fine. Really." In reality, I'm trying to get my head around the idea. Okay, so Uncle Jasper killed one of my friends once, but that was an accident. What Alec is talking about is cold-blooded murder. Well, warm-blooded—I doubt that anybody's blood is going to have the chance to go cold.

I think back to the time when my friend Paula took it upon herself to try and seduce my long-suffering celibate cousin. Little did she know, but my "cousin" was more thirsty than celibate, and by cornering him with as much flesh on show as possible and a racing pulse, she'd doomed herself.

How did I feel about that now? She had been my friend, but I didn't hate my uncle for what he did. I'd accepted it as an unfortunate accident, and wasn't part of the justification that she was only human and had a limited lifespan anyway?

A feeling of guilt hit me. Maybe I wasn't quite as innocent as I thought. And now I was hanging out with a strange carnivorous vampire, with more than a slight suspicion that I was about to be party to a murder.

I chew my lip and think hard.

"Um, I could do with a decent bed for the night. Do you think we could find somewhere uninhabited? I don't mess where I eat, or kill where I sleep."

"Yes, of course." Alec looks puzzled. "This might seem like a bit of a strange question, but do you…mess?"

"Pardon?" My head whips around to him.

"Just a question about hybrid biology. Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"What? Why would you even ask that?" I pull a face at my traveling companion. "You're gross."

"No need to get so defensive. It was a perfectly valid question." He looks smug. "I'll take your reaction as a yes."

"Shut up!" I hit his shoulder, and find out that I've forgotten how vampire skin is much harder than half-vampire skin; I shake my hand as it stings.

"Serves yourself right, beating me up like that." Alec stops as we begin to approach a more inhabited area. "Wait here. I'll go see if I can find somewhere empty."

He wisps away and I occupy myself by looking at the dirt under my manicured nails. I'm cold, tired, and I would kill for a shower. I realize what I just thought and quickly correct myself—I wouldn't go as far as killing, but to be clean would be nice.

After a while, longer than I thought, Alec comes back. In his hands he's holding a pile of clothes.

"I hope you don't mind, but I stole these from someone's washing line. They look about right for you."

He hands the pile over to me and I inspect what he's brought. He's gotten me a black vest, a white shirt, and a pair of jeans. Also, a selection of underwear—second-hand plain white cotton—the type of underwear my mom buys me, where I usually opt for the sort of underwear Aunt Rose gets me. Still, it's better than the night before's pants. There's also a pair of pink flannel pajamas covered in printed bunnies.

"Oh, thanks." They're not what I would have picked out for myself, but it's nice of him to bring me anything at all. So he can be thoughtful when he wants to be. I'm quite surprised by this.

"You'll have to do something about the footwear issue later." He looks down at the floor as he speaks, as if he's feeling slightly awkward. I begin to feel slightly paranoid about why he took so long, but in the end, I don't ask.

"No worries. I can do that. Err, thanks again."

"Follow me. I found somewhere for us to hide during the day."

He leads me into a back alleyway, over a fence, and into the back door of a rather nice looking house. As I walk through the kitchen, I can see that there are brochures and files tidily displayed about the room. It must be a show home.

Feeling a little more reassured about whether Alec had to kill someone to find a place to stay, I suddenly worry whether it's going to be uninhabited all day, but then I realize that we're now into the early hours of Sunday morning. I breathe a sigh of relief.

Hugging my change of outfit to my chest, I look for the stairs. "Um, I'm going to go shower, and then I'm going to go sleep. I'll see you when I wake up, okay?"

"Okay, Ness. Sweet dreams."

"Night, Alec." I walk away but pause when Alec asks a question.

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Sleep. I can't remember how it feels to not be awake."

That's a tough one. It takes a good think to try and describe sleep to someone who hasn't experienced it in over a thousand years.

"Urrr. It feels good. It's relaxing—like you close your eyes and once you drift off, everything's okay for a while. Unless you have a bad dream, of course."

"What does it feel like to dream?"

I laugh. "What is this? Twenty questions?" The look on Alec's face is one of genuine interest. "Well, I guess it's kind of like watching a movie, just inside of your head."

"And what do you dream about?"

"All kinds of things. It depends what's going on in my life. Sometimes it's things that I've done, sometimes things I want to do, and other times, just something completely random."

"Hmmm. Cool." With that, he turns away, and I go upstairs. I just can't wait to get into that shower, and then into those bunny pajamas.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Alec POV

I stand over the sleeping hybrid and wonder why Aro is so keen for her to join us. She seems highly unremarkable for a unique being as she twitches and moves in her slumber. It feels strange doing this—usually, I don't linger when I'm standing over sleeping girls. She's unconscious in plain sight in the middle of the forest. I could have killed her ten times over by now.

Not that she seems like food. Her hummingbird pulse, and her pleasant yet gastronomically unappealing scent, lets me know that she's not edible.

I tell myself to be patient. She will wake eventually, and I will be here waiting when she does. I entertain myself by making small observations.

She resembles the monster she's named after: her hair is all tangled with foliage stuck in it, her makeup is all over her face, and she's covered in dirt, Her dress is torn, and is that vomit around her mouth? It's not very comely.

My sister wished me luck when I last saw her; it seems that she might have been better wishing me tact, instead. Ugh. I can't believe I have to be nice to this _thing _before me.

She could almost pass for human—her skin doesn't sparkle like mine, and she has a circulatory system. That is what Aro is interested in—the physical similarities to a full human gives her the ability to infiltrate the human world undetected.

My surrogate father is becoming increasingly more concerned about the weapons capability of the human race. Should our secrets escape and humans find out about us, Aro worries that we might be targeted with this sophisticated weaponry, and he wants someone who can get closer and perhaps even be strategically involved.

It's impossible for real vampires to get close enough to have any direct contact with human beings other than those who are about to die. For a hybrid, however, things would be very different.

True, it would be possible for us to create a half-vampire of our own, but Caius is unwilling for us to bring more of these creatures into the world without fully understanding them. Currently there are two—the male, Nahuel, and the female, Renesmee Cullen. The rest we eliminated after the disastrous showdown with the Cullen coven and their allies.

Joham and his daughters were hateful things—foul and entirely uncivilized, living in the Brazilian rainforest. I smile as I remember their destruction. My sister and I'd had great fun that day.

My smile widens as I think back to the others that we eliminated after the non-battle over the hybrid sleeping only feet away from me. There are now very few people who can bear witness against us and our embarrassment—we have ensured their permanent silence.

You do not stand against the Volturi and live to tell the tale. One by one, we are dealing with the vampires who had been our witnesses or had sided with the Cullens. We have left those that are of interest to my masters until last. The Cullens would notice if the Denalis disappeared, and my Masters' hybrid plans would be foiled by putting the talented vegetarian coven on edge.

To avoid making any decisions that Alice Cullen might see, the mission is being conducted by manipulating chance and coincidence. My mission is to wait around on the Western seaboard with Demetri and Felix in the hope that we'll be able to make an opportunity to speak to Renesmee Cullen on her own.

Finally, I'd made contact with my target, and it seems as if my persistence had paid off. This was a good thing, as I've had quite enough of spending time in close proximity with the dynamic duo. I also miss my sister who remains in Volterra, though we speak on the telephone often.

After taking one of Renesmee's schoolmates from her previous high school back to Italy, Aro had managed to find out that the hybrid was frustrated at the way that she was treated like a child by her family.

That was why I was so suitable for the mission. If anyone could identify with age confusion, it was me. I had been turned a short while before my thirteenth birthday, and remained frozen in time for the next twelve-hundred years.

Not that I could be compared to modern thirteen-year-olds. In ninth century England, a child had a very different upbringing. There was no such thing as a teenager—you were either an adult or you weren't. Not only that, but my mother had been a witch, and for me, pagan rites and rituals had been a part of everyday life from an early age—and then there was my father and his sadistic approach to parenting.

I'd seen and done more than most fully grown men could have coped with. The result was a strange mix of immature and ancient, child-like and knowledgeable.

I can understand Renesmee Cullen's frustrations—it's difficult being treated like a child when you aren't entirely. Though she has little to complain about—she seems almost mature on the outside, and with time, her real age would catch up and surpass her physical age.

Standing looking down at the sleeping hybrid, I wonder whether I should use my talent and see what happens when she wakes up and finds that she is deprived of one or all of her senses. In the end, I decide against it; though it would be good fun to find out, it would be incompatible with my mission.

I've got to make sure she likes me and that she trusts me enough to follow me back to Volterra.

Demetri or Felix might be better at seducing her, but given her immaturity, Aro is not fond of this tactic. I am to befriend her—to use what we have in common to create an initial bond, at least until we get her to Italy. Then Chelsea will do her thing—break the bonds with the Cullens and create her a new adoptive vampire family with the Volturi.

I get a little closer and she starts moving in her sleep again. Her pulse and her breathing begin to change, and I'm sure that she's about to wake. I put some distance between us, not wanting to startle her.

Her eyes flutter open and she sits up, screwing up her face and then blinking. When she finally sees me, her expression changes—for the first time, I see that the hybrid can look a little like a vampire. When she leaps away and lands in a crouch she looks even more supernatural. Still, despite the athletics, the fact she needs to sleep is a rather dangerous weakness and so far, I'm less than impressed.

Laughing to myself, I speak. "Please. If I was going to harm you I would have a long time ago. I've been watching you for an age."

She assesses me with suspicious eyes. "Who are you?"

I wonder if she recognizes me, but I'm reasonably sure that she won't. She last saw me when she was only a few months old.

"What does it matter? You know what I am, but I'm just trying to figure out what _you_ are. You're not human, but you're not like me, either."

She's not to know that I'm Alec of the Volturi, and I'm to hide it for as long as possible. We do not know what impression the Cullens have given her of what the Volturi does, but we're sure it won't have been a favorable one.

"I'm a hybrid," she answers. A hybrid who is too keen to answer questions truthfully, I note. There are worse beings out there in big, wide world than myself—not many, admittedly. I might know who she is, but to her I'm a total stranger.

"A hybrid? Half-vampire, half-human?"

She nods, and I poke a little fun at her family's expense. "You mean a vampire got a human pregnant, and allowed her to live? Ah, that's too funny."

Renesmee does not see why this is so hilarious. "Well, glad it brightened your day. Don't you have anything better to do, or are you just going to stand there and laugh at my parentage?"

"Now that you mention it, I don't have anything better to be doing. And laughing at you might kill a few hours before I can go hunting, so…"

I've obviously annoyed her. It's difficult to hold back my natural reactions, but I attempt to remember that I'm to be nice and try to win her trust.

"So, do _you_ have a name?" Her eyes look at me with mistrust and I decide that I'm going to answer honestly, mainly because it avoids being caught unawares if I use a false moniker.

"Alec. And you? Or do free-ranging hybrids not concern themselves with such things?"

She looks like a nomad, rather than a member of the holier than thou Cullen coven. Seeing that she is wearing a party dress, I wonder about the reason why she is out here and in this state of dishevelment in the first place, but I leave that question until later.

"Ness." She looks around awkwardly.

"Ness—short for?"

"It's just Ness."

"Okay." So, she's not going to give me her full name. With a mouthful like that I can't blame her. I've heard some ridiculous names in my time, but that one really takes the cake. I wouldn't own up to it, either.

"How old are you?" she asks.

"Older than you, I bet."

I don't like the tone she uses when she speaks to me. I'm used to people addressing me with a little more respect—after all, I'm the Volturi's most powerful not-so-secret weapon in battle. I can incapacitate entire covens—entire armies, even.

Still, she doesn't know that, so I can let her off with a little insolence.

"Smart ass. I mean, how old were you when you were turned?"

I find it difficult to hide my irritation that someone who is so concerned about age herself can make this an issue so early in the conversation. I add a few extra years to my physical age. "Sixteen. Why do you ask?"

"Liar."

"I've been on this earth around twelve hundred years. What does it matter how old I was?"

"Well, you look kind of young." She smirks, and I'm sorely tempted to wipe that expression off her face, however, I'm under instruction not to use my talent unless it's absolutely necessary—more's the pity.

"Age is irrelevant. You are new, I can tell. How old are you exactly?"

"I'm seventeen."

It pleases me to see that I'm not the only one lying. I know how old she is actual years, and that it is a sore point. "Really? I could have sworn you were more like thirteen."

"I'm not thirteen." Her voice is indignant, but even if I didn't already know everything that Aro did about Renesmee Cullen, her nervous body language would have betrayed her.

"Okay, so I'm twelve hundred, and you're seventeen. Either way, you need to learn to respect your elders."

She's not amused by my comment. I must remember to try to be nice.

"Um, so do you know whether there's a town close by?" Ness speaks, and I try my hardest to not say anything sarcastic when I respond.

"Yes, about twenty miles back that way. There's a small town—nothing spectacular, but it'll do. Why? Do you need to feed?"

I know that she doesn't drink human blood, and it will be fun to see if I convert her. It's a little side mission I've taken upon myself—after all, it will make her transition to life in Italy much easier, and make it so much harder for her to return to the Cullens.

She looks uncomfortable. "No, I'm good for now, thanks. I need a few things—clothes, for a start."

"Well, I wasn't going to say, but you do look like you were dragged through a hedge backward."

She scowls in my direction. "You're English."

"Correct. So you aren't entirely stupid. That's reassuring."

"Wow, so polite and friendly. No wonder you have so many friends." I try not to react to her sarcasm. What was it they said? If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That's my tactic and a silence falls.

Ness, as she has chosen to call herself, picks some of the plant life off her dress and it catches my attention.

"You have a few in your hair. And you could do with a shower."

"You could do with a personality transplant, but do you hear me complaining?"

I can't help but laugh. "Yes, actually. I do." I casually toss a leaf towards her but it blows away before it can get near. We both watch it dance away on the breeze. It's a quiet moment that should be awkward, but somehow isn't.

"So what are you doing in the forest anyway?" she asks when she finally stops picking at her dress.

"Nothing much. Amusing myself."

Ness goes quiet and gets a glazed look in her eyes. It's not often that people ignore my presence—usually, vampires are acutely aware of me and my comrades, and they don't allow their attention to drift to the detriment of their own personal safety. That can be a very fatal mistake.

I can see that Ness wouldn't survive on her own if she wasn't part of such a talented coven. She has led a sheltered life, I can tell. Everything has been made safe for her, leaving her clueless about the real world. Life just can't be wrapped up in cotton wool—it's an unnatural state to be in. If you protect someone too much, you only leave them soft and weak.

Right now, the hybrid before me looks as if her mind is elsewhere. She's daydreaming while standing near one of the most feared members of the Volturi. Rolling my eyes, I clear my throat for effect.

"Earth to Ness. What are you doing wandering around looking like a waif and stray?"

She shakes her head and snaps out of her trance. "Oh. Yeah. Um, you could say that I've decided to do a little traveling for a while."

"And the dead prom queen look?"

"I decided to travel immediately after prom. Problem?"

We share a smile—finally, progress.

"Not at all. So…where are we headed?"

"We?"

"I figure that you could do with a little company, providing you clean yourself up a little, of course. I wouldn't want to be seen to be associating with someone who looks like an amateur dramatic rendition of 'Carrie'."

"Is that so? You know, if you were a gentleman you'd at least offer me your jacket."

If she thinks that I'm going to start offering her my clothes to wear, then she has another thing coming. She should have had the foresight to bring or find her own. Besides, I want to see if I can encourage her to break a few of her Christian commandments. Thou shalt not steal and thou shalt not kill, specifically—and any others I can work in while I'm at it.

Corrupting a Cullen is definitely THE perk of my mission, and I'm looking forward to seeing how far Ness will actually go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Breathing through my nose as I slowly approach consciousness, I can smell that I'm not at home.

In my dreams, I'd been standing before my entire family. Mom and Dad were yelling, and the rest just looked on disappointed. Then they'd changed and I'd been stood at the front door of Jake's house, watching Leah and him have sex, though this time they didn't stop just because I could see.

I force myself to wake up. I don't want to dream anymore—I've seen enough.

When my eyes finally open, I look around a pale and unfamiliar bedroom. It takes a while for me to remember where I am, how I got here, and why I'm wearing ridiculous pink bunny pajamas.

I'm a runaway. I've left home to embark on a voyage of new experiences and self-discovery, so long as I can give my family the slip.

Yawning as I sit up, I run my fingers through my hair and swing my legs off the bed, wondering whether my traveling companion is still around. I can't hear a single noise—that's unusual, as I'm accustomed to living with Uncle Emmett.

Picking up the pile of clothing that Alec left me with, I head to the ensuite bathroom to get cleaned up. I'm lacking in toiletries, but at least there's a new toothbrush and unopened toothpaste used as a prop by the sink. My mouth tastes like ass.

Once I'm wearing my new outfit, I look in the mirror. It doesn't fit me perfectly, but it's better than the prom dress or the bunny pajamas. I roll up the shirt sleeves in an attempt to look a little more stylish, and brush my hair with my fingers after splashing cold water on my face.

I need to go shopping for a few essentials, I remind myself, cringing a little as I wonder how I'm going to do it with twenty dollars in my purse and a bank card I can't use.

What do full vampires do? I wonder, and decide to find Alec if he's still here. Within a millisecond of opening my door, I see his dark shape lounging on the stairs.

"So, you're awake. It's about time, too. We need to get underway as soon as you're ready to go."

"Oh, right. Sorry," I reply sheepishly. "Where are we going?"

He grins. "I know just the place to go for all your purchasing needs. Do you feel like a little free-of-charge shopping?"

Theft. Alec wants me to go somewhere and steal what I need, and something within me isn't comfortable with the idea. Considering that I'm half-evil undead, I've had a very proper Christian upbringing, and I know that stealing is very wrong. I've never taken anything that isn't my own—unless you count Mom's shoes or Alice's accessories.

"Um. Yeah. Sure. Let's go." I head back into the bedroom to collect my things, deciding that I'm going to need to find myself a bag if I'm going to be carrying my possessions around with me wherever I go.

The day is overcast and threatening to rain as we walk up to a large mall. Alec walks alongside me, his arms by his side and body held extremely upright.

"You know, you should put your hands in your pockets or something. You're far too conspicuous."

"Conspicuous? Moi?" He smirks and gives me a dubious look.

"Seriously. You look like you just came from the Dark Ages. Slouch a little. It'll make you look more human."

"What, like this?" He twists himself up so he looks something like the hunchback of Notre Dame.

I chuckle. "Yeah, that's a definite improvement."

He continues his impression and I shove his shoulder. "Stop it, you geek."

The mood shatters instantly and the perfect posture returns. He stares back at me intensely, his nostrils flared.

"Don't touch me."

"Sorry, I—"

"Just don't." His mouth lifts, but it's not quite a smile—the furrowing of his brow and his eyes tell me that he's trying to hide his reaction to me crossing some unknown boundary. It intrigues me, but I decide not to push the matter—or him, anymore.

Our walk continues in silence until we step inside the large glass fronted building, mingling amongst the human shoppers who barely even glance in our direction. Looking over at Alec to see if he's forgiven me for pushing him earlier, and I see that he's giving the people moving around us much more attention than they're giving us.

"Are you hungry?" I ask with trepidation, hoping and praying that he'll say no.

"Yes, I am a little." His voice has lightened and his dark mood seems to have passed. "I was planning on feeding yesterday until someone so rudely distracted me."

"Hey, you decided to tag along with me, not the other way around."

"I couldn't leave a damsel alone in the forest. It goes against my chivalrous nature." He smirks—it's an expression he wears regularly.

"Chivalrous nature? Are you serious? You wouldn't even give me your coat after I'd been sleeping in the woods in a prom dress."

"Well, sleeping in the woods in a prom dress was your idea. You can't blame me for that. If I remember correctly, I provided a house and pajamas." I saw him holding back a smile.

"Okay, maybe you get points for that. Thanks."

"See—chivalrous."

I almost went to punch Alec in the arm in jest, but then I remembered his earlier reaction, and held back.

While doing our second circuit of the mall, Alec regards me with interest.

"You haven't made a move to take anything as yet. Is there a problem?"

"Oh, um, no. No problem." I ran my teeth over my bottom lip wondering how I was going to avoid the whole stealing thing. "I—er—how do you manage to be around people if you're thirsty? You said you were earlier, yet you seem so calm."

He snorts. "I'm far from being a newborn. You don't get to be as old as I am without learning a little self-control. Why? Are you finding it difficult? Do you need to find someone to drink first?"

"No, I'm still good…for now." I give him a false, goofy smile. To be honest, I'm always aware of the humans around me. My enhanced senses are taunted by people who get a little close, and today the mall is crowded.

I can see the pulsing of the blood through their thin skin, and their scent—masked as it often is by perfume or sweat, makes me imagine the taste of skin in my mouth followed by the burst of blood from a fresh wound. It makes my mouth water.

I can only vaguely remember the taste of fresh blood from a full human, as I bit my mom immediately after being born. Apparently, before she was turned, her blood was like vampire catnip, and I figure that I can't really compare the rest of the species to her.

Other than that, the closest I've come is the wolf-flavored taste I get from Jake, or the tainted by plastic bagged supply that Carlisle used to bring home from the hospital when I was just a baby. All I know is, based on what experience I have, it will be infinitely better than animal blood, which is light years tastier than human food.

Temptation is always a problem, but then I've always had my family around to keep me on the straight and narrow. Vampires resisting their nature and surviving on animals is what I'm used to, but Alec isn't like that. If I told him how I lived, he'd think I was more of a freak of nature than I already was.

I can resist for a few days, I'm sure, and then Alec and I will have to part ways.

What will I do then? I wonder, and I start feeling a little down as I think of home…and Jake.

Suddenly, I'm torn from my thoughts when Alec crashes into me at full vampire speed, and my feet are lifted from the ground. The displaced air rushes past me as I observe in slow motion.

We're going so fast that no one around us is able to see—not that anyone is looking anyway—we're just another pair of kids hanging around in the mall on a Monday evening. Alec is giving a particularly evil looking grin as he propels us toward a janitor's closet; he opens the door then pushes me inside, following in a blur and closing it after.

My pulse skyrockets as I wonder what he's doing. Standing in a darkened room, though I can see perfectly, I'm very aware of the proximity and the fact that I really don't know this boy at all. He could be capable of anything.

And then he laughs quietly.

"Your face is a picture. Did I frighten you? Hybrids aren't afraid of the dark, are they?"

"No. Don't be stupid."

He walks a little closer, until he's facing me—barely a foot apart.

"Good, because I think out-of-hours shopping might suit you better. How do you feel about creating a little overnight havoc around here?"

Alone with Alec, somewhere I shouldn't be, and doing things I shouldn't be doing—like stealing. Something tells me that this is wrong, but I swallow hard and nod my head to show that I'm up for it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Alec opens the door and peers out, before straightening up and inching himself out.

"Wait here. I'm going to do something about the security cameras."

"But if the cam—" He is gone before I can finish asking if that meant the security guard would come down and check why the cameras weren't working.

After a few apprehensive minutes, the door creaks and Alec is back.

"Come on. We'll get you your things, but first, I've seen somewhere I want to go play."

"Let me guess…the Disney store?"

Alec throws me a look of disgust and saunters away; I hesitate and then leave the janitor's closet to follow him. He speeds up a little once I catch up, but he doesn't glance in my direction.

I look around at the empty mall. It's strange seeing it deserted, and the usually barely audible sound of my feet against the marble-effect tiles seems amplified. It reminds me that I'm less of a vampire than the boy next to me as he moves noiselessly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I look at him. His thick, dark coat is obviously expensive, as are his pants and shoes. What kind of teenage boy wears slacks anyway?

Oh, that's right—he's really twelve hundred years old and English. That explains it, I guess.

His hair covers the top of his ears and clings to the nape of his neck—the type of style that got trendy again when Justin Bieber was at the peak of his fame a few years ago. Shame it isn't quite so popular these days—though I guess there isn't much that Alec can do to change it, being frozen in time and all.

My own hair hangs in waves now it's longer and weighs the curls down, and it'd also stopped growing once I reached physical maturity. It's nice to not have to shave my legs or armpits anymore, but I now have to be extremely careful if I want to change my style.

I wonder what Alec's story is—how he became a vampire and what he had been doing down the centuries. He would have some tales to tell, I was sure—though I wasn't certain whether they would be the type I'd want to hear.

Maybe later I'll ask him. Right now, he doesn't seem in the mood to talk.

Finally we turn a corner and Alec rushes ahead to a sports equipment store, breaking the lock as he pulls up the corrugated security barrier. He then gives the doors a firm push and they fly open.

"Sports? Seriously?"

His wide grin tells me that boys—ancient or otherwise—are all the same.

He is a blur as he investigates the goods on show, and I amble in, looking around at the various equipment and clothing. I almost jump out of my skin when suddenly a football helmet is pushed down on my head.

"Hey!"

"That's a much better look for you. I vote that you keep it."

"Ha-ha, Alec." I pull the helmet off and shake my head to fix my hair. "So, why are we here? You a Steelers fan or something?" I grab the nearest shirt off the rail and hold it up.

"Actually, I want a bike or a skateboard…" His eyes roam around the store. "And then I'm going to go try out the escalators."

My eyebrows rise, and I continue to wander through the aisles. "How about we play mall hockey?"

"Oh, actually—good idea. I'm shocked." He is by my side in an instant. "We'll play mall hockey, and t_hen_ we'll go ride down escalators."

"Wow, you really know how to show a girl a good time." I say in a sarcastic tone, though I have a wide smile on my face. Bumping into Alec in the woods had been luckier than I thought, as he is turning out to be quite the fun guy.

I pick up the abandoned football helmet, put on a Penguins shirt which is far too big for me, and chose my weapon—a hockey stick. Out of all the sports that my family organized on stormy days, hockey was always one of my favorites—my absolute favorite, baseball, I doubt suits being played in an indoor mall.

My heart sinks a little as I pick up a stick, and I think about home while I toy with a puck in my other hand. The crumbling of the vulcanized rubber in my hand pulls me out of the stomach-churning mental pictures of Mom, Dad, Jake, and the rest of my family.

Alec's stick taps against my helmet, and I give him a wan smile in response.

"Is that a look of defeat I see on your face already?" He grins. "I fancy my chances."

"Dream on, vamp boy. I learned from the best of them."

We head out of the store, and quickly find that the fake marble tiles make an excellent rink, and a nearby seating area becomes the goal—until it is promptly destroyed.

About thirty minutes later, we decide it's a draw. It had been a dirty game—lots of tripping and high sticks, but luckily no gloves came off.

"I can't believe you cheated. I had you pegged for such a goodie two-shoes."

I gasp at Alec's accusation. "I did not cheat—certainly not any more than you did, anyway."

Alec chuckles as I turn and look back at the devastation we've caused. I feel more than a little bad—I've just willfully destroyed someone else's property for my own entertainment—still, it had been fun…

"So what next? Should we go find ourselves a bike and—"

Raising a finger to his lips, Alec shushes me, and then signals to me to follow him. We stalk our way back into the store to a dark corner under the stairs that leads to the first floor.

The sound of human footsteps outside tells me why we need to be silent. I chew my lip a little.

After a few moments, a black uniformed security guard walks past the window and sees the mess we've left.

"What in holy Hell happened here?" he says aloud.

He then turns and looks at the unexpectedly open store we are hiding inside.

"Damn kids. I know you're in there. You might as well come out."

He steps inside and pulls what looks remarkably like a Tazer.

Oh, crap, I think to myself.

He zigzags his way through the clothing rails, pushing items aside to check that we aren't hiding there, and I wonder how we are going to get out of here—we are cornered.

I look up at Alec and see his entirely black eyes twinkling back at me. He looks just as amused as he was during our earlier hockey game, and I wonder how on earth he can think this is fun.

He hurtles forward, away from me and toward the human security guard. It's then that I realize—I get to my feet in an instant.

"Alec, no!"

I am too late. The security guard flies across the room and Alec is on him in an instant. The man barely manages a yelp before the scent of fresh blood hits the air.

Stepping backwards, my shoulder bashes against the stairs we were hiding under only moments ago.

No. _No, no, no_. I am horrified at what Alec is doing, yet I can't look away.

His head lifts and his mouth is rimmed with bloody lips as he grins in my direction.

"Not hungry, Ness?" His voice has changed—it's raspier and sounds desperate.

I shake my head quickly and close my eyes tight, trying to shut out what is happening.

"Come on—don't be shy. I promise not to fight over him. There's enough to share."

The smell drifts up my nostrils—teasing me—making my stomach rumble. It smells so good—better than any elk, bear, or mountain lion. It's like sitting down with a salad only to find that someone has started baking cookies.

I sense a presence and my eyes open, finding Alec standing right in front of me.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you drinking? Doesn't he smell good?"

"Yes. It's just—I can't."

"Oh, come on. He tastes nice. I promise."

Alec's hand rises, bringing a bloody fingertip closer to my face. I flinch away, but Alec shifts position.

Once close enough, the bloody digit makes contact with my bottom lip and briefly drags across it. His finger is cold and sticky, but the source of the cookie-smell so close to my nose almost causes my eyes to roll back into my head.

Then Alec steps away and cocks his head to the side, seemingly intent on watching my reaction.

It's impossible to not lick my lips, and when I do, it is both the best and the worst thing I could have done. I'd once seen a cartoon where a shark had smelled fish blood in the water; his eyes then blacked out and he became a predator.

Something similar happens to me in that moment.

In an instant, the idea that humans can be friends not food is gone. There is only the smell of blood in the air and I _want_ it. I'm vaguely aware of pushing something—someone—out of the way, and without thinking, I find myself crouched over the already dead body of the security guard. It doesn't take long to find the wound on the side of his neck.

And then I find heaven.

Sucking hungrily to get more of the fluid that seeps from him, I am surprised to find that it's sweet with a coppery aftertaste. The taste is homely—freshly-baked cookies have nothing on it. A wash of pleasure flows over my brain, and I crush the motionless form closer to me to get _more_.

He is empty sooner than I'd hoped, and with a whimper I drop him and step away, saying "oh" like a child who being told she can't have an ice cream before dinner.

Alec approaches carefully, the light glinting off his teeth as he positively beams in my direction.

Then it hits me.

I have just drunk human blood.

My whole body lurches and I cover my mouth in horror. I take a step backward.

"Ness…"

With a sob, I turn and run out of the store and out into the mall as fast as I can. I don't even stop to think about picking up my purse or my pajamas—I just want to get out of there, but I can't escape the pain.

_But he was already dead. You didn't kill him_, one side of my conscience tells me.

_You have just gone against everything your entire family believes in. You've just sold your soul, Renesmee Cullen_, the other side argues. As I burst through the entrance and into the cool night air beyond, it surprises me to find that my better half speaks with Jake's voice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**WARNING: EXTREMELY DARK. THOSE OF A MORE SENSITIVE DISPOSITION CAN SKIP THE CHAPTER AND THE STORY WILL STILL MAKE SENSE WITHOUT THIS INSIGHT INTO ALEC'S HUMAN LIFE. CHILD ABUSE OF A PHYSICAL AND MENTAL NATURE—NOTHING SEXUAL.**

England, 882 AD

Alec POV

I walk the well-trodden path home, trying to avoid the worst patches of mud and tree roots. When Mother sees how many rabbits I've caught, I know she'll be pleased.

"Sister!" I greet Jane as she comes into view. She's sitting outside staring at a pile of sticks again. "They'll never light. It's too damp."

Once I'm close enough, I put my hand on her shoulder and she sighs.

"I know I can do it, Alec. Last night, I was sure I made the fire flicker."

Smiling, I kiss the top of her head. Jane is very much our mother's daughter, and she's convinced that she's inherited her gifts. She swears that I'm talented, too, though I've never really sat down and tried. There are things I'd much rather do with my time—like hunting. We might need fire, but we also need food.

Reminded of my kill, I lift them high. "Look what I've caught."

Jane beams.

I'm distracted by animalistic noises and grunts from inside our home. "Where's Mother? Is she…"

Jane's smile disappears. "Yes, she's in there. She's not alone."

I bite my lip and clench my fists. I hate it when she does this, and I hate the men that do it to her.

A few years ago, when I was about nine, Mother had sent Jane and me out into the forest to look for friendly spirits. When we had looked and found nothing for what we decided was long enough, we'd returned, and the sounds that I'd heard my mother making had made me think she was being hurt.

Bursting through the door to come to her rescue, I'd found her pinned to the floor by a man wearing no pants. I rushed over and threw punches at his shoulder until he'd gotten off Mother. Then, he'd proceeded to punch me back. Mother wasn't pleased with me either, she yelled at me and told me I was an idiot. It was left to Jane to help clean up my many injuries afterward.

Once I was healed enough to do so, Jane and I had gotten revenge on the man. We'd walked the distance to the village and cursed his wife, telling her that it was because of what her husband been doing with our mother. Our curse had driven the woman mad and she'd killed herself a month or so later.

My attacker never came to our house again, and I learned to never interrupt Mother whenever other men came to visit.

We didn't go into Weedon often—the closest village for endless miles. Whenever we did, there were suspicious glances and people would hurry out of our way. Not that I cared. I don't concern myself about anyone's opinion other than Mother and Jane's.

Some of the people in the village we were familiar with, but they chose to ignore us in public. They were mother's male visitors or the ones who came to Mother's gatherings.

The craft had been in the family for as long as could be remembered. Mother her craft from her mother, who had learned from her mother before her. Paganism had been banned many generations ago, but whenever the Christian God doesn't answer prayers for fertility, better crops, or to heal the sick, many turn to more alternative methods.

Mother at work is a beautiful but terrifying sight. Most of the time, it's a simple small animal sacrifice or drinking foul or fragrant smelling potions. I love helping Mother on these occasions. Sometimes, the rituals ask for something darker but I've grown accustomed to this. When I was young, I used to be frightened, but now I'm older it's a lot harder to shock me.

When Mother is manipulating and reading signs in the flames to predict the future, Jane and I have to stay out of the way. Mother says that it's because we get in the way and distract her, but I know that's not the real reason. Once, I overheard her telling a visitor we'd had once that all she saw in our future was fire, smoke, death, and that we'd never grow to adulthood. Mother said that whenever we come close to her when she reads, that is all she can see.

I sit with Jane and begin skinning the rabbits while she continues to concentrate on the wet wood. She wants to be like our mother, but I don't want her to succeed; I don't want her to have to have men around like Mother does.

We haven't been sitting here long when two horses with riders and a number of walking men appear down the path. Jane and I stop what we're doing and get to our feet.

These people aren't from the village. The men on foot are soldiers, and the mounted man and woman are wearing bright colored clothing. They're obviously rich.

Feeling brave, I walk over to the door of our home and knock.

"Mother," I say nervously. There are mumbles from inside.

"Alec, not now."

"But there are some people coming—on horses, with soldiers."

There is a commotion inside and I quickly go back to standing by my sister to protect her.

As the front door opens and Mother's visitor—a man I've seen before—darts into the woods, the riders surrounded by stern-looking soldiers finally arrive. They make no move to pursue the man; I notice that the male rider manages a brief sneer in his direction.

He then pulls on his reins and brings his horse to a standstill. He has dark hair and eyes, but I can't help but notice my sister's features in the way his face is put together. The woman comes to a halt beside him, but rather than focusing her attention on Mother like her companion, she stares at Jane and me. Mother looks frightened.

"What do you want?"

"Ethel, is that any way to greet an old friend?" the man says with a sneer. The woman continues to stare at us.

"Friend is not a term I'd use for what we were, Alfred, and I doubt that you're paying me a visit for friendly reasons—especially considering that you brought your wife and soldiers."

"I was in the vicinity and I thought I'd come see how you were coping with the little bastard I left you with. So which one is mine?"

"Neither. I miscarried. These children are not yours."

The woman finally looks at my mother. "Don't be a fool. It's obvious to see that the girl came from my husband. But the boy…"

The man pulls his reins and brings the horse closer to where Jane and I are standing.

"You." He addresses me. "How old are you?"

"Almost twelve, Sir."

"And your sister?"

"The same, Sir. We're twins."

The whinny of his wife's horse catches my attention, and I look over to see that its rider is now beaming. "Well, I never. Two for the price of one."

"I came to hopefully find a son, and into the bargain I get a daughter. Ethel, you snake, keeping them from me all this time."

Mother looks horrified, but when she replies, her voice is strong and defiant. "You and I both know the reasons why I kept them from you. I'll never let you take my children."

"I thought you might say that. Guards."

Two of the men take a step towards my unarmed Mother, and as I rush forward, the other two guards block me and my sister from interfering. I hear the ring of a sword being drawn.

"Mother. No!" Jane cries. I put my arms around her and turn her head so that it's buried in my chest, scrunching my own eyes closed so that I don't have to see. "Alec! Alec!" my sister sobs into my chest.

"Please, no." I open my eyes and plead, but the man ignores me.

I watch as my mother backs away towards the house. The wet wood that Jane had concentrated on so intently earlier bursts into flame, along with a pile of wood by the house, and the thatched roof.

"Impressive, Ethel. I can see that you've not lost your touch. I wonder what little talents our offspring have inherited. I look forward to finding out. Ardelle here, you see, cannot have children, and this little shit here is the luckiest bastard alive, as I need an heir worthy of receiving everything that I have once I die. Now you can either let us take him and we'll leave you with the daughter, or…"

He draws his finger across his neck slowly.

"I would rather die than let Alec leave with you."

"That can easily be arranged." He looks at the men, who are poised and ready to strike, and nods. One man makes to swing his sword and the other draws back his bow; there is a roar as fire suddenly leaps and rolls in their direction.

One of the guards is engulfed and screams, and the other reels back, but as he does, his arrow lets fly and it pierces Mother's bosom.

"No!" I yell, and Jane's head whips around to find out what is happening. She sees Mother as she stumbles backwards, her hand rising to her wound. Another arrow whistles through the air and pierces her shoulder. Mother's back hits the mud and twig wall, and she slumps to the ground. Jane struggles but I don't let her get away from me.

The man, who as it transpires is our father, turns back to us. Jane now clings onto me as tightly as I'm holding her.

"You might hate me for that, but it's a cruel world, children. I will take you back to my castle and raise you as if you were my legitimate heir, Alec. Your sister will come, too. You see, this is your most fortunate day, so do not mourn your whore of a mother for too long."

The archer joins the two remaining living guards and they surround us, indicating that we should start walking along the path leading away from our home. As we move along in silence, I find Jane's hand and grasp it.

"Oh, how sweet," the woman says with a mocking laugh, and I look back with a glare.

They might have taken Mother from us, but I swear to myself that I will never let anyone harm a single hair on Jane's head. I will protect her from this man, our father—the man that has just killed our mother before our eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Alec POV

So much for the incorruptible Cullens.

As I stand by and watch the half-vampire before me drinking from the security guard that _I_ killed, I have to hold back my hisses and the natural urge to defend my prey. If I hadn't fed while she slept earlier, I would have failed already, so I'm so glad that I'd preplanned the occasion.

This is quite possibly the greatest victories of my entire existence—though it seems slightly cheapened by the ease with which I brought it about.

My preconceptions of Renesmee Cullen had been of a pious, uptight, spoiled little girl who had been born with the world at her feet. She'd never known sacrifice and pain, and the privilege she would grow up with and take for granted had angered me.

Jane and I had discussed the Cullen hybrid at length on numerous occasions.

To become nature's greatest predator, there was a price to be paid: the change was excruciating, and the bloodlust that came afterwards soon removed any trace of the human that had once existed. Afterward, it was very rare that vampires managed to form any kind of coherent family without manipulative talents being involved—I'd counted myself fortunate that I'd come through the other side with my beloved sister, Jane, and found the father that I wished I'd had during my human years in Aro.

Renesmee Cullen had the physical advantages of a vampire, yet she still remained partly human and was able to live the existence of a regular girl in the modern age—which was itself a privilege compared to times that I'd lived through. Being born rather than turned, she'd not had to endure hell on earth for three days during the transformation, and she had a large, immortal extended family surrounding her.

She had lost nothing and gained everything—too much take, and so little given. The only thing that could have made me and my sister resent her even more would be to find out that she also had a soul.

Meeting Renesmee Cullen in the woods, I'd thought that she was weak and more human than vampire. Helpless and alone, she'd done nothing to impress me, but standing watching her feed, I felt something change. I began to reexamine my opinion of her.

It had started as we'd been preparing to play our hockey game. Laughing, Ness—as she wished to be known—had lifted her arms to put on her jersey, and the way her body had stretched had caught my attention. As she pulled the garment over her head, and her messy hair and smiling face had reappeared, it suddenly occurred to me that she looked…_pretty_.

Certain parts of my body also agreed. They agreed even louder as I later smeared blood on Ness's bottom lip, and she manhandled me out of the way in her desperation to feed.

Frozen in the body of a teenage boy, I was no stranger to some of the automatic reactions that came with the territory. However, sexual lust was not a huge part of my existence as it seemed to be for many of my fellow coven members.

Humans found vampires very appealing, this I knew, and curiosity had gotten the better of me previously when opportunities had presented themselves. I was not a virgin, though despite my twelve hundred years on earth, the number of sexual encounters that I'd had could still be comfortably counted on one hand.

For all that I'd noted the pleasurable sensations that went with the act, I felt very uncomfortable with the intimate touching. It seemed to be too…personal.

Skin-on-skin contact conjured up memories of the back of my father's hand, and the fists of the man I'd tried to "rescue" my mother from. Even worse, I remembered hands lifting my bound body with the intention of burning me at the stake—which then lead to the remembrance of Jane's fingers entwined with mine as the flames rose, and falling into unconsciousness as my sister screamed in agony.

Those images weren't exactly congruous with staying aroused. Combined with the opinions of sex that my mother's promiscuity left me with, I thought of intercourse as cold, messy, dirty, and I struggled to understand why others thought so highly of it.

The only human contact I ever had was with my food, and then I was always more preoccupied with the substance flowing beneath the skin than touching them in any other way.

Relationships were out of the question. Only humans ever sought me out romantically, and vampires wanting to get close to me tended to have unfriendly intentions. Thanks to the protection of larger vampires, no one ever got within dangerous proximity to harm me before my deadly talent could take effect.

The only physical connections that I really sought out was putting my hand in Aro's, and the sibling affection I received from my sister—I trusted them both to never hurt me.

Still, despite all this, I was a teenage boy and sometimes my body reacted when I did not wish it to. I didn't think about my moment of aesthetic appreciation of Ness for too long, as the inevitable mix of fear and disgust I felt as it took hold soon dampened the excitement.

The game of mall hockey had been fun, and for a while, I'd set my mission to one side. It was nice to be reminded of being back home in Italy, playing with Jane in the dark corridors. There was a brief moment when I'd felt entirely carefree and like a child again.

Then, the security guard had arrived.

Ness brought me back to the present as she whines and pushes the drained body away from her.

Smiling, I walk forward, trying to remember that I'm not supposed to know that she doesn't drink human blood, though I really want to congratulate her for embracing her vampire side.

Getting to her feet, she stares back—she has blood smeared across her face and on the front and cuffs of her shirt. I decide that she now looks like Ness the vampire rather than _Renesmee Cullen_. A small voice in my head reminds me that she still looks pretty, but I ignore it.

Then Ness's eyes grow wide. Her hand rises to her mouth and she starts shaking her head from side to side, backing away from me.

"Ness…"

She makes a choked noise, and then sprints out of the store at almost-vampire speed.

Pausing for a second, I give a deep sigh and reach for my cell phone.

"Alec? The hybrid is leaving the mall." Demetri's voice answers after only half a tone.

"I'm well aware of that. Get Felix to follow her. I need your help to clean up a mess."

"Of course," he says without hesitation. "I will be with you within a minute."

I barely have time to put my phone in my pocket and look around for Ness's personal belongings before he joins me. If there is one thing I can say for my two bodyguards, it is that they're good at remaining close but unseen despite their size.

Demetri's eyes immediately find the bloodless corpse.

"You fed in front of her so soon? No wonder she ran away."

I scowl in his direction. "It wasn't me that did the drinking. He found us and I only wanted to make sure that I dealt with the loose end."

"Renesmee Cullen drank human blood…of her own accord?"

Grinning, I give Demetri a smug look. He knows me too well by now to think that I didn't have a hand in it.

I stand to one side as he surveys the scene.

"I think it will be best to take the body and leave it elsewhere—a river maybe, to explain the lack of blood. We will make it look like the store was attacked by hooligans, seeing as the area is already half destroyed—" Demetri gives me an eyebrows raised look, though I don't respond. He points to a patch of spilled blood on the floor. "There was a scuffle, and then the perpetrators took the security guard with them, killing him elsewhere and then abandoning the body."

"Fine."

I make a move to leave and Demetri picks up the dead security guard. As he heads to the front of the store, I freeze, and then take a few steps back to the bloodstain we've left behind.

Feeling a sudden thrill, I drop Ness's purse to the floor. What wouldn't I give to be there if the police come knocking at the Cullens' door looking for an explanation? I keep the pajamas—I will leave them with Felix and he can use Ness's scent to create another false trail.

Beaming, I join Demetri who is waiting for me at the store entrance.

"Can I assume that the hybrid's clothing might be covered in blood? It may be a good idea to destroy it…and I can imagine that she might appreciate a change of outfit."

"It will be a good reminder of what she's done," I reply bluntly, but then I smirk. "It will help her adjust to her new diet."

"It might also hinder the process, and therefore our mission, too." Demetri's eyes look at me accusingly. I hate it when he's right.

"Mmm." My response is non-committal, but I grab a dark colored tee shirt.

Once we exit the store, we speed up our departure until we're far away from the mall. We find an area of farmland with a shallow creek running through it, and we decide to leave the body here.

I remember my little gift that I left at the scene and wonder how long it will be until it's found, and by whom.

"How far away are the Cullens?"

"Well, it seems that they were alerted by whatever happened at the mall, and they've doubled back on themselves after following the trail we left with the prom dress. They're around seventy-five miles away and coming this way very quickly, but Ness has headed south and is still running. I don't think they'll get anywhere near us—especially if they stop to investigate."

"Excellent."

For a while we run silently, and I follow my traveling companion, relying on the flawless compass inside of his head. Eventually, I smell the fresh trail that Felix and Ness have left.

When we join Felix, he is hiding on a catwalk inside an old abandoned factory, and he points out Ness in the darkness below.

As Demetri and Felix remain out of sight, I join her. I hear the muffled sounds interspersed with sharp sobs that she's making, and I begin to wish that I'd asked Demetri how to deal with crying girls.

Usually, I don't mind tears—if anything, they entertain me—but then, when I want her to be quiet, I can't just eat Ness Cullen.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Sorry it's been a while since the last update. I had an assignment to hand in, but after it was done and dusted, I got straight back to my writing. There are a few more chapters just filtering through my wonderful beta, WolvesCanEatMe, now.

Nessie POV

I don't even know how I got here. All I remember is my feet flying over the ground, taking me far away from the scene of my crime. I came across an old abandoned factory in my path; rather than run around it, I decided to take refuge inside.

The ache in my chest burns and my sobs start anew as I think back to what I've done.

That poor man. What about his family? His parents, his wife…his children? I've never felt so ashamed of anything I've done in my entire life.

What will _my _family think?

Though it had been a spur of the moment act without any conscious thought, surely Alice must have seen something? I hope that she hasn't. I couldn't bear the disappointment on everyone's faces.

But if they did see, maybe they might come and get me? They forgave Jasper when he slipped, so I don't doubt that they'll forgive me, too—after they yell at me for running away in the first place.

For a second, I consider going back. I can track down this man's family and do something to try and make amends…can't I? But what?

I visualize Mom, Dad, Grandma and Grandpa Cullen, and all the others standing on the porch as I approach with my tail between my legs. My eyes won't have turned red, but even if Alice hadn't seen, Dad would hear what I was thinking. There's no way that I can hide this from them.

I imagine their faces as they find out.

What if Jake was there, too? Will he see how easily I fell apart once he broke my heart to pieces? What about Leah? Will she be there gloating, pleased to show Jake that he chose the better woman?

I can't go back—not just yet, anyway. I've got to show them that I'm not the immature little girl that they think I am. Okay, so I've done something bad—really bad. Off the scale bad. It's not as if I'm planning to do it again, right?

The memory of fresh, warm blood flowing down my throat reminds me of how much nicer than elk or mountain lion it tastes, and then it sickens me. That I can even consider finding something pleasurable in the act upsets me even more and I begin to cry again.

There is a soft cough and I look up to find Alec standing in front of me. He looks awkward.

That's right—he probably thinks I'm a freak. He doesn't know that I don't drink humans and is wondering why I'm so upset.

"Hi," I manage to say in a thick, tearful tone, and then I sob a little more.

"Hi. You ran away." I don't respond to his statement, and he stands there, looking at me.

"You probably think I'm dumb, right?"

"No—I'm just confused. Is something wrong?"

I almost laugh, but there's nothing funny about the situation. "Yeah, I guess you could say so. I don't eat humans." Looking him straight in the eye, I wait for his reaction. He stands there and stares down at me in return.

"You don't kill humans? So what do you drink?"

"Animal blood…and human food when necessary. I'm feeling pretty disgusted with myself. I…" I can't find the words to say just how much I hate myself right now.

Alec stays there, looking down his nose at me, motionless if he was a statue. After a long while and a few more sobs from me, he holds a dark piece of fabric out in my direction.

"I thought you might need a change of clothes."

"Thanks." I take it from him. I'm kind of hoping that he's brought some tissues, too, but it seems that he hasn't. Instead, I have to use my sleeve.

Alec continues to watch me, and for a split second, I think I see one side of his face curl up in a smirk. The expression is gone as quick as it appears, but now and again his mouth twitches.

Eventually, I begin to feel more than a little awkward and I get to my feet. "So are you going to turn around?"

He complies without saying a word. I take off my bloodied shirt and the vest top underneath, and then pull the tee on over my head. It feels a little weird being in nothing but my bra so close to a strange teenage vampire that I barely know, and that I'm not even sure I like.

As the t-shirt passes my non-existent chest, it finally dawns on me why Alec was probably just being so weird. He wasn't just thinking about my boobs, was he?

For a second, I'm outraged that he might be thinking about my breasts while I'm so obviously upset, but then I remember that he's frozen in time as a teenage boy. Why am I surprised?

"You can turn around now."

Alec looks my way, and his first glance isn't at my face. My suspicions are confirmed. I want to yell at him, but then I remember that if it wasn't for him I would still be wearing the sullied shirt.

I remember why it was dirty, and feeling a depression flowing over me, I sit back down on the floor, my back to the wall to support me as I wallow in my guilt.

This time, Alec chooses to sit with me, though I'm pleased to see that he leaves an appropriate distance between us.

"So, you drink animal blood. What's the story behind that?"

Turning my head in his direction, I take a second to try and assess what he's thinking. He doesn't look like he's judging me—he's wearing his usual expression of bored arrogance.

"I was brought up that way, by my coven." I push my hair away from my face and look at my shoes. "They think killing humans is wrong."

"Rather an unusual belief for a vampire to hold."

"Yeah, apparently we're pretty rare." I continue to look at my shoes. I see the smallest spatter of blood and it holds my full attention.

"I guess you could say that vampire/human hybrids are also rare." Alec smiles. "And I suppose that explains your conception somewhat…" He trails off as I glare. Given his behavior earlier, I don't want to be getting onto the subject of reproduction.

We sit there in silence for a while.

"So what's your story, Alec?"

"My story?"

"Yeah, what you were like as a human, how you were turned, and where you've been all this time."

Alec shifts a little, as if he finds the subject uncomfortable. "Well, I grew up in England in the Middle Ages. I lived with my mother and my sister until my mother was killed. Then we went to live with my father."

I wait for the next part of the story, but it's not forthcoming. Alec is staring into the distance, his mind obviously elsewhere. The glare he's giving the air between us and the other side of the factory is giving me chills.

"When were you turned?"

Alec snaps out of his trance. "Turned? My sister and I were taken from the local village after we ran away from the castle, and an old vampire turned us—"

"Wait, you lived in a castle?"

He shrugs like it's nothing. I need something to take my mind off what I've done, so I proceed to make a big deal out of it.

"Is the castle still there?"

"No. The castle and the village were gone a long time ago." He pauses again, but then turns and grins. "If you want to see a real castle, then I know one or two that are very well-preserved. I would take you to see them, if you like."

"In Europe?" I ask. Alec nods. "I dunno. Seems a bit of a long way to go, and I've got no money—crap!"

"What is it?"

It hits me and I can't believe how stupid I am. I left my purse, my pajamas, and everything back at the mall.

"I lost my purse."

Alec gets to his feet and leaps up to a catwalk above, crouching as he looks out of the grimy windows.

"It's getting light outside. We're not going to be able to get to the mall before it opens, and I can imagine the security guard may be missed by then."

I wince, and then I think about what evidence I've left behind. If I was a cop and I found a purse left behind in a ransacked store after a disappearance, the first thing I'd do would be to contact the parents of the girl it belonged to. Now I'm imagining my family's faces as a cop knocks on the door and tells them I'm wanted for murder.

My train of thought is interrupted as Alec leaps from the catwalk, and goes back to his seated position beside me.

"Don't worry about it." Alec obviously knows where my mind has been. "You've got more chance of them putting it down to alien abduction than vampire attack. We'll keep moving and they'll never find us."

I give a false smile.

"Now you know my story, what's yours?"

Taking a deep breath, I wonder how much Alec needs to know.

"I'm not really in the mood to tell you, but I could show you."

"Show me?"

I lift my hand and bring it in towards his face; he watches the movement and for a second, I see a startled young boy instead of the cocky vampire. He grabs my wrist and squeezes it a little too tightly.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm showing you." I shake my head at my own stupidity. "I have a talent. When I touch someone, I can put pictures in their mind. You know what they say, 'sometimes a picture can say a thousand words.'"

Alec looks confused, but he's still holding my wrist tight. It's as if he's torn between allowing me and threatening me. Then his face changes and his expression goes blank.

"No, matter. I'm not that interested."

I let my hand fall, and then watch Alec get to his feet and walk away.

"You should get some sleep. We're going 'shopping' for real tomorrow night."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Alec POV

I stand over her, watching her sob pitifully. She asks if I think she's dumb, but I don't say what I'm really thinking—that she's a strange creature spawned from a bizarre coven. I even bite my tongue and don't mock her for her diet. My self-control leaves me very impressed with myself.

When I grow tired of the snot and the tears, I hold out the t-shirt.

"I thought you might need a change of clothes."

"Thanks." Her voice is thick and nasal, and her eyes are puffy.

A quick glance tells me that they're the same brown color as they were before. Yet another thing that makes her less vampire and more human. Not that you could mistake her humanity with all the various bodily fluids she's got smeared across her face.

If it wouldn't jeopardize my mission, I'd take out my phone, take a photo, and send it to Jane for our mutual amusement. The fall from grace of Renesmee Cullen—brought about by me. I struggle to hide my smile.

"So are you going to turn around?"

It's then that she reminds me that she wants to get changed—and that underneath the elite Volturi Guard there's still a teenage boy. As I'm turning the other way, I forget about being Master of the Universe, and I find myself thinking of breasts.

What do Ness's breasts look like? They're obviously not very big, but then I wonder whether I'm really bothered by that. On the few occasions that I've handled breasts, I've often felt at a loss at what to do with them. I'm not really the touchy feely type.

I picture them in a white cotton bra like the one I procured for her the other day. Then that familiar something begins to creep over me—the awkward feeling where I'm not sure whether I feel aroused or sick. Once again, the legacy from my human years prevents me from having a human moment. I guess I should be thankful for it—after all, I'm on a mission and don't want to be distracted from my objective.

When I'm told I can turn around, I can't help having a brief look at her chest and revisiting my mental picture, but I quickly push it away. Ness is giving me a strange look; then her face drops and she sits back down on the dirty factory floor, propping herself up against a crumbling brick wall.

I sit by her, making sure I don't get too close. I should make small talk, I realize.

"So, you drink animal blood. What's the story behind that?"

We chat a little about banal subjects—the Cullen morality, her status as a hybrid—which seems to be a touchy subject, and my human life. Luckily, I manage to get off the subject quite quickly as she takes me back to times I'd rather forget. Plus I don't want to give her too much information, risk catching myself in a lie, or inadvertently expose the truth.

When she shows a brief interest in the castle I lived in, I get a glimmer of hope that her enthusiasm might mean an easy ticket to visit to a certain underground castle in Volterra, Italy, but I'm swiftly disappointed.

It's then that she realizes that she left her purse behind. To hide my amusement, I have to leap up onto the catwalk and look out of the window to let her know that morning is coming. I make a note not to look directly at Felix, who I can see silently and motionlessly hanging from the ceiling like a large gothic Spiderman—it's a laughable sight.

Once my moment of amusement has passed, I go back to my seated position and try to reassure her. Making more small talk, I ask about her background. Though I already know a great deal, and Aro will be able to find out whatever he wants to know himself once I bring Ness home, I wonder if I can find out anything of tactical advantage in the meantime.

Ness sighs deeply. "I'm not really in the mood to tell you, but I could show you."

"Show me?"

She lifts her hand and brings it in closer to me. I know what she's doing—Aro has briefed me about the nature of her talent. It's a one way connection; she can only show me what's in her mind, and she can't read anything from mine. To do this, I know she has got to make contact with me.

I panic. Her hand comes closer and I briefly imagine what it will be like when her skin touches mine. Her hand will be warm against my cold cheek, or maybe it will be my jaw. It's an intimate gesture and part of me wants to feel her touch and rub my cheek against her fingers while I bask in it.

Another part of me recoils as I remember another palm against my face—this time leaving a sickening ache and breaking the skin. The feeling of total helplessness and anger bubbles up, and I can't bear it anymore. I grab her wrist.

"What are you doing?"

She gives a slight explanation that she has a talent, and how "a picture can say a thousand words."

It's her ability to take this contact for granted that decides for me. For her, because she's had such a carefree upbringing, this action is commonplace—easy.

Why would I want this aberration to touch me? I shouldn't. Touching equals pain more than it results in pleasure. I don't want her hands on me.

"No, matter. I'm not that interested." I take myself away from her and saunter toward the far end of the factory, hoping that she'll take it as nonchalance rather than a desperate need for breathing space. "You should get some sleep. We're going 'shopping' for real tomorrow night."

I face the opposite way while I regain my composure, and I distract myself by trying to spot Demetri's hiding place. Eventually I find him, and only then do I turn around to see if Ness is asleep.

In the same place as we were sitting earlier, Ness has rolled up her old shirt and is using it as a pillow. She has no other covers and I can see her shivering.

Something inside of me cracks and a memory from my human life springs to mind. My chest constricts and I have to close my eyes through the pain. I tell myself that Ness is not Jane and _that_ was a long time ago.

Still, I do the only thing I can in the circumstances. I walk over to where she's curled up, remove my coat, and lay it over her.

Ness isn't asleep and she looks up. "Thanks."

I can't say anything as I'm too overwhelmed. I grit my teeth and wander away, holding back scenes from my past that I wished I couldn't recall. Curling up in a corner of my own, I spend the rest of the day until Ness wakes up wishing I was back in Italy with my sister.

~X~

Nessie POV

I don't sleep very well that night, but when I do wake up, I give Alec his coat back immediately, dusting it off as best as I can.

To say that I'm surprised he gave it to me is an understatement. Trying to figure him out is impossible—sometimes, he's awful, rude, and just an ass, and then he goes and does something kind and unexpected.

What wouldn't I give to have inherited my father's mind reading ability?

"We'll get you a coat of your own for tonight, and a sleeping bag. Maybe even a tent."

For a split second, I wonder how I'm going to pay, but it doesn't take me long to realize that we're going to steal them. A night on a factory floor has erased my morality when it comes to taking a few essentials, though my conscience still doesn't feel any better about my actions of the previous day.

We wait until it's dark until we run to a nearby town. Alec doesn't seem to be in the mood for conversation today, and so I follow him without saying a word.

I remember his stare when we were talking about his human life, and the way he refuses to allow me to touch him in any way. Something bad obviously happened in his past—other than the fact he was transformed into a vampire.

Feeling guilty, I wonder if there is anything I can do or anything I can say to help him, or whether I'm best leaving him alone.

Why am I even considering taking up supernatural counseling? Vampires are frozen in time, and you can only change them in exceptional circumstances, right? It's not as if I have much in the way of experience of pain other than what happened with Jacob. I've had a privileged, protected upbringing—what would I understand about a boy who grew up in the Middle Ages and who had gone through whatever Alec had?

Still, my Cullen values make me want to help. Frozen or not, I'm not giving up on him yet. You never know, converting a nomad vampire and returning to the coven feeling like something good came out of all this might be just what I need to redeem myself. Saving lives in the future could be my good deed to make up for my part in what happened in the mall.

Well, I'll give it a try. Alec obviously has a lot of issues and a corner of my mind is already telling me that he's a lost cause. Still—If Jasper can do it, why not Alec? First, I've got to get him to talk.

Once we're in town, we slink through the streets until we finally come across a camping supplies store. I walk up to the front entrance without thinking.

"What are you doing?" Alec spits. "Hold a sign up for the cameras saying, 'Hi, mum!' next time!"

I feel stupid. "Sorry, I've never done this before. I'm not thinking."

"Wait over there. Lesson one—when you're stealing something in the middle of the night, don't walk in through the front door." With a frustrated sigh, he disappears.

"Okay. I get it. Jeez," I say to myself. Great. What a start to my plan to convert Alec—I'm not exactly vindicating my diet as brain food.

I wander away across the street and wait until Alec comes back a few minutes later fully laden.

"Lesson number two—disable the alarm and make sure you're not seen by any cameras. Here. Don't think I'm carrying them for you."

I look at what he's gotten. There's a tent, a large pack, a sleeping bag, a flashlight, various items of warm clothing, and a thick coat. Once I've put them away, Alec hands something else to me that he's been messing with while I've been occupied.

It's a belt, and slotted in it are a number of knives.

"It's a knife belt."

"Congratulations—there is a brain in there somewhere." Alec rolls his eyes at me.

"Yeah, but why do I need knives?"

Alec seems to think about this for a moment.

"Seeing as you're such a pathetic excuse for a vampire, I thought you might need a few things that humans would take into the wild. There are a million fun and useful things you can do with a knife."

"But three of them? Seriously?" I look at them a little closer—they look very different to the kitchen knives I used when I was helping Mom and Grandma Esme.

Alec looks annoyed. "Look, are you going to take them or not? If not, then why don't you go see whether the shop gives refunds." The side of his mouth lifts slightly.

I take them off him, and then he drops something else on the ground in front of me. There are a number of cereal bars and some other snacks.

Looking up at Alec, I say, "Thank you." He shrugs, and then walks away.

We head to a convenience store, and he takes me around the back.

"This time, I'm going to go in the main store and create a distraction. You can go in the back and get whatever else you think you need."

I nod my head, though I'm scared and worried about whether I can actually do this.

With a deep breath, I wait a few moments for Alec to begin whatever he's planning on doing, and tentatively open the door and step into a dark corridor. I sneak along, first finding a toilet, and then discovering that the next door is locked; I force it and find myself in a room with shelving and boxes. It takes me a while to gather what I need, but I put them inside of my pack, and then I head out.

All the time, my heart pounds faster than normal.

When I finally complete my mission and stumble out of the metal door, I find Alec waiting for me.

"Wait, weren't you supposed to be creating a distraction in the store?"

Alec smirks. "Was I? Sorry, I forgot." I choke and Alec laughs. "I wanted to teach you a few life skills. Congratulations, you passed Theft 101."

"You're an ass—you do know that?"

Grinning ear to ear, Alec just turns and runs away. I follow him, feeling weighed down by my pack.

Once our "shopping" is done, we head out of town. We find ourselves in rolling hills covered in forest, and I thank God for national parks. As I put my pack down, Alec takes a seat with his back to a tree.

I get the message loud and clear—he doesn't intend on helping me, and he thinks that watching me put up my tent is going to be amusing.

Well, I'll show him. This I can do. Thanks to my family, I'm a seasoned camper.

After raising my eyebrows, I set to it, and it's erected in record time. Alec looks impassive, but as he's not smirking, I take it as he's mildly impressed.

"Well, seeing as you didn't lend a hand, I'll take it as you're not interested in sharing my tent." Smugly, I grab my pack. "Have a pleasant evening, Alec, and I'll see you when I wake up."

Once inside, I unpack what I need. I unroll my sleeping bag, change my clothes, and eat a cereal bar. As I chew, I wonder at how less guilty I feel about eating something I stole compared to…

I try not to think about it.

I begin to feel bad when I hear droplets of rain on the fabric above me, and so I climb out of my sleeping bag and open the zip.

"Alec?"

"Yes?" His voice is sullen.

"It's raining. Come inside the tent."

"I can handle a little rain."

"Alec, just get inside and stop being an ass."

I climb back inside my sleeping bag and Alec follows me. Pulling my pack out of the way, Alec sits in the space I make. A bottle rolls out of the top of my bag, and he picks it up and inspects it.

"Hair conditioner?" Though it's still dark, I can still see his expression. "You may be able to put up a tent, but if I hadn't found you, you really wouldn't have survived, would you?"

I snatch the bottle out of his hand.

"It's the brand my mom uses. It reminds me of home." I put it away, and then I dryly add, "Plus, you have no idea how hard it is to get a brush through my hair after washing it."

Alec chuckles, and this time, I feel as if he's laughing with me rather than at me.

Settling back in my sleeping bag, I feel a little awkward falling asleep with Alec so close. I look over to find him staring back, and he averts his eyes.

"What?"

Alec turns his attention back to me. "I was just wondering…why did you leave home in the first place?"

I turn so that I'm facing him and rest my head on my hand. "It's a long story, but to cut it short, I had an argument with…a friend, and I was just so tired of being wrapped up in cotton wool."

"So you ran away, completely unprepared?"

"Yeah. I didn't really put too much thought into it. If I hadn't found you I'd probably have gone home by now."

"Your life couldn't have been that bad. Let me guess—your coven had money, a nice house, sent you to high school…"

My mouth lifts into a smile at Alec's perceptiveness.

"Wow. You've really got me figured out. Am I really that transparent?"

"Lucky guess." He shifts and made himself comfortable. "Is being wrapped in cotton wool something you really need to run away from? Sounds pretty cushy to me."

"It was okay, but something was always going to give. So it wasn't life and death, but everything was controlled and decided for me since the moment I was born. I didn't mind so much when I thought I had something to look forward to, but then that one thing was taken away, and I just couldn't do it anymore."

Alec doesn't respond, and looks away. Satisfied that his attention is elsewhere, I finally manage to close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

~X~

Alec POV

_Something was always going to give…I just couldn't do it anymore._

The feelings that had overwhelmed me after I'd given Ness my coat take over again.

The more Ness reminds me of my sister in the final day of our humanity, the worse I feel about my latest present for the Cullens. Using the fact she was caught on security camera at the camping store, and most likely at the convenience store, suddenly feels very wrong.

It isn't often I have a crisis of conscience. I decide that it's time to stop my corruption of Renesmee Cullen and concentrate purely on my mission from now on.

Maybe trying to be a little nicer might help ease my guilt?


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**WARNING: EXTREMELY DARK. THOSE OF A MORE SENSITIVE DISPOSITION CAN SKIP THE CHAPTER AND THE STORY WILL STILL MAKE SENSE WITHOUT THIS INSIGHT INTO ALEC'S HUMAN LIFE. CHILD ABUSE OF A PHYSICAL AND MENTAL NATURE—NOT SEXUAL.**

Alec POV

England, 883 AD

Exhausted, I finally crawl into my bed and pull my blankets over me. It's cold and I shiver, each movement irritating my shoulder that never seems to have the chance to heal.

Still, at least the day is over and I can rest until dawn. The man who requests that I call him Father expects me to be fit, well, and ready for another day of preparation to become his accepted son and heir. His lessons are brutal, painful, and often soul destroying, and it's rare that I don't have new cuts and bruises before supper.

There are some positives to the situation. At least I'm fed well here. I don't often go hungry unless Father decides that I need a little more character building.

I try to hold back the tears welling in my eyes. I miss my mother, and today Father pushed me particularly hard. We worked on my swordsmanship this morning, and Father isn't happy that the injury in my shoulder means that I can't swing as hard as he would like.

This afternoon, either as punishment or as an education, he made me go swimming in the moat. It's the beginning of October and the weather has been feeling exceptionally wintry of late, so being thrown into the green and stinking water was a shock to my system. I've never stopped shivering since I climbed out and was told to go change into something dry. I dare not become ill, as Father never tolerates any less from me because of it.

The door creaks, and I sit up, wincing as my shoulder stings.

"Alec?"

I flop backward in relief as I realize that it's my sister.

"Jane."

"I was cold. Can I climb in?"

"Please. I'm freezing." I budge along to make room for the only person in this world who makes me happy. It seems that our stepmother is no easier for Jane to get along with than Father is for me, and I know that Jane is scared and feels trapped, too. That's why I try to make sure that she never sees me cry about our situation. She might be the eldest, but I'm the man of our former household, and I want to be strong so that I can protect her.

Jane shuffles under the blanket with me and we hug tightly. Sighing, I appreciate her bodily warmth.

"You are freezing, Alec. I saw what he had you doing earlier. You'll catch your death of cold."

"Oh, it's not so bad. I do love a good swim. Can you remember the old pond on the way to Weedon?" I chuckle for both our benefits—to make Jane smile and so the motion wafts a little of the warm air from around her body my way.

"Alec, when is this going to stop? When are things going to get better?"

I kiss the top of her head. "Soon, Jane. Soon."

One of these days, I will be a man, and Father will be old—then the shoe will be on the other foot. When Father dies, Jane will be woman of the house and Ardelle will be her unpaid servant. After those pleasant thoughts, a much more genuine smile stretches across my face as I fall asleep.

The next day, I get a thorough whipping for not handling Father's falcon correctly, one of the blows catches me my around the face, causing my cheek to bleed profusely. I touch it and the tips of my fingers come away bright red.

"For that, I'm taking you out in the woods tomorrow. I'll give you a pack of food, a dog, and let you find your own way home. It will teach you to be independent, to think about how to survive without all of these creature comforts. Maybe you will find time to think more on taking care with my hunting falcon, too."

I look down and quickly nod my head. I know better than to voice my disagreement.

Out there, in the woods, there are dark spirits. I always felt safe when Mother was around—she said that sometimes the spirits would come to speak to her. They were interested in the three of us, and that they'd agreed to protect us while Jane and I grew to adulthood. Mother was scared of her fiery visions of our future; these dark guardians made her feel a little safer, and back then, I'd felt reassured, too.

Now that Mother is gone, whenever Father takes me out there, I'm scared. I never hear or see anything more than a swift moving shadow out of the corner of my eye, but my skin crawls as I feel as if I'm being watched. Father tells me not to be so ridiculous, and I get the back of his hand for my troubles.

Knowing I'm going to be out there completely alone—as father never makes an idle threat—I lie awake dreading the morning.

My train of thought is interrupted by the door, and I know that it's Jane again. This time she opens the door quickly and shuts it just as fast, leaning against it. She's fully dressed and not in her night dress.

"Grab your things, Alec. We need to leave now."

I sit up. "What?"

"We need to go. Come on—we don't have much time before they find her."

Climbing out of bed and reaching for my clothes, I catch sight of a red mark on Jane's face.

"Jane, what happened?" I ask, and her hand touches the redness.

"I'll tell you on the way—just please, hurry!"

I pick up a few things and tie them in a bundle, only stopping to put on my shoes as Jane almost pulls me out of the door. We rush down the corridor, pausing to make sure the yard is clear. When we find that it is, we run to the far corner and inside the stables, where there is a small unrepaired hole in the masonry in the furthest stall.

Jane squeezes through first and I follow, before we inch along the edge of the moat to the bridge. Looking up to see if there are any guards watching, when we're sure that the coast is clear, we tiptoe over it as quickly as we can into the black night that lies beyond.

As the flickering light of the torches around the castle disappear into the distance, I finally ask Jane why we're running away.

"She hit me for the last time, Alec. I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm sorry."

As we stumble in the darkness, I hold her hand tight. "It's okay, Jane."

"But where will we go, Alec? I should have spoken to you before I did anything."

I think for a while.

"It's fine. Something was always going to give. First, I think we should go to Weedon and get a few things. We can't go back to Mother's house—they will look for us there."

"We can't stay in Weedon for long. They hate us. They only put up with us because they were scared of Mother."

"I know, but we'll find somewhere. All we need is shelter and each other. I can hunt…"

"What with, Alec? You don't have a weapon."

"Then I'll steal one in Weedon. We'll be okay, sister. I promise."

We realize that we have to stop until morning when we find ourselves amongst the trees, unsure of which direction to take to reach the village in the dark. Jane and I cover ourselves as best as we can with the contents of our packs, and then huddle together in an attempt to sleep.

As I lie there shivering, I tell myself that there is nothing out here that could possibly be as frightening as my father. The truth of my own thought reassures me, and surprisingly, my eyes close quickly despite the cold and the knowledge that it is just me and my sister at the mercy of the woods.

My eyes flicker open and I'm surprised to see the grey light of early morning. I don't feel as cold as I expected to, and when I look down, I see that my clothes hastily pulled out of my bundle are packed back inside, and instead I'm covered in a dark, thick cloak, trimmed with black fur.

Looking over to Jane, I see that she is wearing a similar cloak but in grey. Her bundle is tucked under her head and she looks peaceful as she rests.

Confused, I sit up straight and look around to find out who it is that has so kindly covered us while we slept.

"Hello?" I ask, but my voice echoes amongst the trees. In the distance, there is the sound of a bird taking flight, and my mind dreams up a number of reasons for it to leave its branch.

Spooked, I wake my sister, who is equally surprised to find the cloaks that we have gained, and even more so when she finds an earthenware bowl filled with various kinds of berries beside her. We both eat hungrily.

"Who do you think left these? Why did they not stay?" Jane asks.

"I think it was the dark spirits Mother used to talk about. I think they're protecting us."

Jane looks at me thoughtfully. "Then I'm very glad that they are." She gets to her feet and attempts to roll up the luxurious looking cloak, and I do likewise. With my bundle of clothes under one arm and the cloaks under the other, we get under way.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Nessie POV

In the morning, when I open my eyes, I see that Alec is no longer in the tent. Pushing my hair out of my face, I realize that it has stopped raining.

After changing my clothes and running a brush through my hair, I pull on my shoes and unzip the tent.

"Your breakfast is getting cold."

I find Alec sitting on a nearby rock, on the ground beneath him is a number of dead rabbits.

"Wow—thanks." I approach apprehensively and pick one of them up. When I survive on blood rather than human food, I can get by with eating less often. Though I don't really feel hungry at the moment, I pick up my meal and start drinking—I want to get back to the vegetarian way of life as soon as possible.

I'm not a fan of cold blood.

Alec watches with interest, but says nothing. The sarcastic remark I'm expecting never comes. He even helps me dismantle the tent and pack my things away, and once I stop to put on my new coat, he picks up my bag and puts it over his shoulder. To say I'm stunned is an understatement.

"Hey, Alec."

His head snaps to me, and it looks as if I've roused him from upsetting thoughts. His expression is unreadable but it makes me feel a little awkward.

"I should call my family and let them know I'm okay." And give them a little warning that they might have cops knocking on their door…

Alec's brow furrows. "Do you think that's really wise?"

"They're probably going out of their mind. I don't want them to worry about me."

Walking alongside me, Alec thinks for a while.

"I could get you a phone, on one condition…" Alec looks me square in the face. "I don't want to be mixed up in anyone's coven drama. You must promise not to breathe a word about me—so far as they're concerned, I don't exist. Okay?"

"Why are you so bothered about my family knowing I'm with you?" I ask.

His expression is serious. "I've gotten by this long by staying under the radar. Once you start involving yourself in other people's issues, that's when you start creating problems."

It makes sense, so I agree to his condition with a quick shrug. He disappears, and comes back a couple of hours later with a cell phone.

"The reception isn't great, but here you go. I suggest you leave it behind once you're done."

I look down at the device in my hand and see that the wallpaper is a picture of a couple smiling for the camera. A cold sweat flows over me and I look up at Alec in shock.

"Stolen goods—nothing more sinister. Scouts honor." The side of his mouth curls up in a smile, and I feel relieved.

Before I dial, Alec tells me that he's going to give me a little privacy, and reminds me that he doesn't exist before he zooms away. After much consideration, I decide to call Aunt Alice. She picks up immediately, so I know she was expecting me.

"Nessie!" Her voice sounds desperate, yet relieved.

A lump forms in my throat, and all I'm able to choke out is, "Hey."

"Where have you been, young lady? You've had everyone so worried. Actually, don't answer that, we know where you've been."

It feels like my entire rib cage crumbles. "You know about…the mall?"

The line goes quiet. "Yes. We were hoping that your purse being found there was a coincidence, but the way you said that kind of says otherwise."

I nod, but then I realize that I have to confirm it out loud. The sound comes across more as a squeak.

"Your father found your purse and Jasper found the body. At least you hid him well." Alice pauses and I can't think of anything to say in reply. "It seems they aren't the only ones following you, Nessie. You need to come home right now—the Volturi are following your trail, too."

"The Volturi?" Was this a ploy to get me to come home? Why would the Volturi come for me after all this time? But then…my family would never lie to me, right? Then I remember Jake and how I'd been kept in the dark for all that time, and suddenly I'm not so sure.

"Yes, they're playing with the holes in my vision and making it difficult. It's really not safe. Please, come home right now…but you're not going to, are you?"

"No. I can't. I'm tired of always being 'safe', Aunt Alice. This is something I need to do."

The line crackles, and then Grandpa Carlisle speaks.

"Nessie."

"Oh, Grandpa."

"Please come home. We promise you that we'll talk about whatever it is that made you run away and change things. Your parents, Jake, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett are just south of Pittsburgh—it seems the Volturi aren't far away, too. We're not sure what they want with you, but we're sure it's not beneficial."

"I haven't seen anyone, Grandpa." I think about Alec briefly, but then I put him out of my mind.

"If you need some time on your own, then that's fine. Just come home and wait until the Volturi leave. We all miss you."

"I'm not going to go to Italy with them. I just need to go on the road and clear my head." Not needing to see his face to sense the concern he's showing, my bottom lip trembles.

"Don't underestimate the Volturi, Nessie. They can be very convincing, and in ways that you don't even recognize. They can make the prospect seem very appealing."

"I know, Grandpa. They have a vampire that can break emotional bonds—but I love you all too much to allow that. I promise I'll come home eventually. There are just things I need to do first—to make up for what I've done. I need to show that I can be my own person and make the right decisions. So far, I've not done so well, but I'm going to do better."

"Ness…you know you don't have to worry about what happened…"

I close my eyes and bite back the shame. "But I do. I should worry about what happened, and prove to everyone—including myself—that I'll never do that again."

The phone changes hands again, and this time it's Grandma Esme.

"Are you okay? Are you looking after yourself? Are you…" She trails off, but I know what her next question would be…are you eating well?

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've gotten a tent and a few essentials." I chew on my lip for a moment, and my mind drifts back to the parent I inherited that little trait from. "How are Mom and Dad?"

"They're going out of their minds, but they'll feel better knowing you've called, I'm sure. If you're not coming home, is there anything we can send to you to make it easier? All we want is to make sure you're safe and well."

I mentally hug Grandma Esme. "I'm fine, Grandma. I just want to look after myself for a while. Tell Mom and Dad…and Jake…that I'm okay."

"I will do, Sweetie. Now you stay away from any trouble, and make sure you call again soon."

"I will." There's something about Grandma Esme that's always so accepting. I'm feeling much better already, but then a wave of home-sickness hits me. "I'm going to go now. Tell everyone I love them."

When I disconnect, I look down at the cell in my hand and consider keeping it; then I worry about the implications. What if someone who knows the original owner calls?

In the end, I crush it in my hand and let the pieces fall to the ground.

Following his scent, I find my traveling companion.

"Alec…I have some bad news."

He gets to his feet and looks concerned. "You're going home?"

"No." I wonder why he would think that was bad news. "The Volturi are following us."

He makes a choking noise. "The Volturi? Are you sure?"

I feel guilty about getting Alec involved in this. After all, he's just a young vampire who ran across the wrong girl. He looks as if he's beginning to panic.

"Yeah. When I spoke to my family they said they're on our trail."

"But why would the Volturi be following us?" Alec looks around nervously.

"Me and my family, we kind of have a history with them," I explain.

"Great. That's just great. This is why I never get involved with other covens' drama." Alec begins pacing. "I've never done anything wrong. I'm too young to die."

"Calm down, Alec." I reassure him, and though I want to reach out, I keep my hands to myself. "You haven't done anything wrong. They probably just want to convince me to go to Italy with them, but I'm not going. You have a bit of experience of living as a nomad—I need you to keep me one step ahead of them. My family isn't far away if we need help, so it would probably help if we have a cell around at all times."

"Your family…what can they do? Don't you know what the Volturi are capable of?"

I laugh. "Yeah, my family and I know exactly what they're capable of, trust me. We've beaten them at their own game once before, plus I'm not the only talented member of my coven."

"This is the Volturi we're talking about. No coven of bunny-eaters is going to—"

"Trust me, Alec. Some of my family's talents cancel out theirs. Besides, we're just two kids lost in the woods—if they wanted us dead, we'd be dead already, right?"

Alec pauses and looks at me for a while before smiling. "Lost? Speak for yourself. I know exactly where I am."

"So, we have a deal? You'll help me?"

Alec is still smiling. "Of course…but you owe me big time. If we get through this, remember that."

"Sure."

He picks up my bags and we get underway. I follow behind him, glad that he found me before the Volturi, and pleased to have found a friend.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Alec POV

I take the phone from Felix.

"Is it bugged?" I ask.

He rolls his eyes. "Of course. Demetri did it as soon as he took it."

Putting the phone in my pocket, I ask where Demetri is.

"He's feeding." I sniff and don't react, but I can see there is something Felix wants to say to me. Eventually, he spits it out. "Rabbits?"

I didn't think they would miss that. Feeling defensive, I wonder what they were saying as they watched me chasing through the woods. "It's what she eats. I also got her a tent and some cereal bars, but I don't see you asking me about them."

"I thought you were trying to convert her?"

"I am," I reply. "It's just a gradual process. She just needs time to realize that it's what she wants."

Felix's mouth twitches. "Maybe she'll convert you instead? It looked like you were having far too much fun catching vermin."

"Shut up, Felix." Irritated, I close my eyes and concentrate. The slightest of mists begins forming around my feet, curling up from the ground, and my entire body tingles.

The mist is the ghost of the thick black smoke from the pyre I almost perished on, and when it reaches my victims, it robs them of their senses in the same way that the black smoke blinded and suffocated me all those years ago. I was turned while I was unconscious, still suffering the effects of inhaling the smoke, and now I can will that nothingness onto others.

Felix takes a step backward as he sees what I'm doing, and the barely visible smoke crawls across the earth towards him.

"Alec…"

"If you know what's good for you, you won't say another word." I hold back the mist and give Felix a meaningful look. "Don't forget I'm your superior. A little more courtesy might be in order."

I smirk as Felix glares at me, but not a single word passes the giant's lips. I know that he would easily crush me if it weren't for the knowledge he'd have to face Aro's wrath. Felix knows that I can incapacitate him if he's not quick enough and that, as one of our Master's beloved secret weapons, I have very few restrictions on my actions.

The last time he irritated me and my sister, once he regained his senses, he found that I'd allowed Jane to give him a makeover. I still have the photo on my phone for when I need to smile. I do so now as I remember, and then I turn and walk away, allowing the mist to dissipate.

Not hurrying back to Ness and still mindful of the thoughts she inspired yesterday, I take out my own phone and send a text to Jane.

_Hello, sister. How are things back home?_

A moment or two later, she replies. She must be bored.

_Same as ever. When are you coming home? I'm going out of my mind._

_Soon, I hope. I almost had to mist Felix for being smart._ I smile to myself as I type. It wouldn't have been the same without my partner in crime to make the most of the opportunity. It has to be said that no-one of any kind of intelligence steps out of line when my sister is around, though Felix does on occasion.

Her talent was formed in the same way as mine—the pain she inflicts on others is the agony she felt as she burned on the pyre, compounded by the pain of the change itself. I've never experienced it myself—after what our father did to me, she would never dream of hurting me that way. I'm not averse to watching her do it to others, though.

I look down at my phone and see that Jane has replied again. _Well, do it as quickly as possible. How is Renesrat Cullen? Send her my regards._ Jane ends her message with a smiley, and I can picture her actual expression. For some reason, I'm not finding the humor where I would normally.

_She's okay. Wait until I bring her back to Volterra and you can give her your regards yourself—but be nice. She's not really as bad as I thought she would be. She reminds me of you._

Jane's reply is a string of question marks, which I ignore. Making doubly sure my cell is on silent, I put it in the inside pocket of my coat.

I sit on a stump and my mind drifts back to times long ago, when my sister and I were weak and human, and all we had to protect ourselves was each other. Humans are now my food source, and because of that, I do not spare a second thought to their well-being. Ness, however, has their fragility, but not their disposability.

She needs protecting, because it's perfectly obvious that she's incapable of it herself.

I should snort at this, and be amused by how much of a failure of a vampire she is, but I don't. The reason is that part of me wants to take this job on for myself, and I don't know how to react to this realization. It certainly doesn't fill me with joy.

Being responsible for someone is hard work, or so I remember.

I'm interrupted from my train of thought by Ness's presence in the clearing. Her brow is furrowed and she looks confused.

"Alec…I have some bad news."

My first thought is that her family is about to arrive and that Demetri has failed me, but then I remember that to her, that would be good news. What else could she possibly want to tell me?

"You're going home?"

"No—the Volturi are following us."

Well, of course her family knows about our presence—we may have been playing with the holes in the psychic's vision, but no doubt they have found our scents along the way. Still, it's a little close for comfort and my composure slips.

"The Volturi?" I manage to choke out.

"Yeah. When I spoke to my family they said they're on our trail."

"But why would the Volturi be following us?" She hasn't given any indication that she's recognized who I am. If I play this right, this could be highly advantageous.

"Me and my family, we kind of have a history with them," she says, looking a little sheepish. Now how would a regular nomadic vampire without a deadly talent react to that?

"Great. That's just great. This is why I never get involved with other covens' drama." I pace and look distressed. "I've never done anything wrong. I'm too young to die." That last line was a little hammy; maybe I need to work on my amateur dramatics?

"Calm down, Alec. You haven't done anything wrong. They probably just want to convince me to go to Italy with them, and I'm not going." I hold back the scoff that forms in my throat. She really does have no idea about the dangers of the world.

She continues. "You have a bit of experience of living as a nomad—I need you to keep me one step ahead of them. My family isn't far away if we need help, so it would probably help if we have a cell around at all times."

She's not making it easy to keep the cracks in my mask from showing, and even I'm not sure what they would reveal underneath. "Your family…what can they do? Don't you know what the Volturi are capable of?" What kind of coven would leave its most vulnerable member so unaware of the way that the vampire world works?

Ness has the audacity to laugh. "Yeah, my family and I know exactly what they're capable of…trust me. But we've beaten them at their own game once before, and I'm not the only talented member of my coven."

I cannot help but feel a little insulted at her dismissal of the threat that is facing her, even if she doesn't realize that I'm part of that threat. Doesn't she know how close to obliteration her family came?

"This is the Volturi we're talking about. No coven of bunny-eaters is going to—"

"Trust me, Alec. Some of my family's talents cancel out theirs. Besides, we're just two kids lost in the woods. If they wanted us dead, we'd be dead already, right?"

Finally, something sensible is coming out of her mouth. I think for a moment and a plan begins to form. I wonder whether Felix has ever studied acting? Certainly Demetri likes to put on a Shakespeare recital now and again…

My enthusiasm is irrepressible, but I can now allow it to show on my face. "Lost? Speak for yourself. I know exactly where I am."

"So, we have a deal? You'll help me?" Her smile mirrors mine, and her eyes twinkle. She looks pretty but I give my head a mental shake—I have a mission to think about.

"Of course…but you owe me big time. If we get through this, remember that." The ideal way for her to pay me back is a visit to Europe. Before we go, I'm going to make sure she puts so much faith in me that she will follow me anywhere, leaving her family far, far behind.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**WARNING: EXTREMELY DARK. THOSE OF A MORE SENSITIVE DISPOSITION CAN SKIP THE CHAPTER AND THE STORY WILL STILL MAKE SENSE WITHOUT THIS INSIGHT INTO ALEC'S HUMAN LIFE. CHILD ABUSE OF A PHYSICAL AND MENTAL NATURE—NOT SEXUAL.**

England, 883 AD

As we walk along the muddy, often trampled dirt track that is the main road into Weedon, we immediately start attracting attention. I make sure to look each person in the eye to show that I don't fear them, but I stay close to my sister.

I don't know how we're going to be able to steal anything with this many eyes on us.

As we get into the centre of town, I pause when I see a horse tied outside the blacksmiths. I know that horse—it is my father's. A bubble of fear rises up within me.

Tugging on Jane's sleeve, I point it out and we turn to walk the other way, only for my eyes to find themselves only inches away from a mail covered chest.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" one of Father's guards growls. I kick him in the shins, grabbing Jane's hand, and start to run back the way we came as he starts shouting, "They're here. I've found them!"

In the distance, I hear Father's instantly recognizable voice. "Murderers, murderers! Stop those children!"

A number of bodies start to block my way, and when a pair of hands yank Jane's from my grip, I stop and try to pull my screaming sister free. Someone picks me up and I struggle against them, but my feet aren't touching the ground. I kick my feet, but that doesn't faze whoever has apprehended me.

We're taken to the front of the blacksmith's and tossed on the ground before Father's feet. I get a kick to my ribs; the resulting jolt causes me to bite my tongue and I taste blood.

"You little devils. How dare you kill her? How dare you? You're evil—just like your mother."

Another voice pipes up. "Yeah, she was a witch, they say. A right nasty piece of work. Egbert found their old place burned out about a year ago. Bet these little shits did it. Killed their own mother."

"That's not true! We didn't kill Mother—he did! He did!" I yell, but a boot to my already sore shoulder silences me.

"I wouldn't expect anything less than lies from you. And I suppose that it's pure coincidence that I find my wife dead, and you and your sister run away the very same night? Hmm?" Keeping my eyes low, I follow the movements of Father's feet in case he tries to kick me again.

"Children of a witch, you know that they're bound to be evil. They put a curse on Frieda Mason a few years back, and then she went mad and killed herself."

I hear angry voices behind me, with various other accusations about my mother, my sister, and me.

"Hold them. We'll fetch the old priest—he'll soon say whether they're witches or not."

I dare to look up at father, and he smiles down at me. It's not a pleasant expression.

"I don't even think you're really my children. Your mother never was particularly careful about who she slept with, and I wouldn't be surprised if you were the offspring of some demon. I put all my time and effort into turning you into a man, keeping a roof over you and your sister's head, and this is how you repay me." He goes quiet and takes a step back. "I wash my hands of you. You're no child of mine."

I'm relieved and devastated at the same time. Though I've wanted to get away from Father since the day he took us away from our home, I fear that the alternative will be an even worse fate.

There is a commotion when the priest finally arrives—it's already late afternoon and my stomach is growling at me. Hunger is the least of my problems.

The priest doesn't take long to listen to the villager's complaints and find us guilty of witchcraft. Beginning to panic, I hug my sister close as the order is given for a bonfire to be built. Someone comes over and parts us, tying each of our hands behind our back, and then our feet together. Looking over at Jane, I see my own fear reflected back at me.

When we're finally lifted and carried over to the large pyre, Jane screams and protests, but I remain silent. What use is there in fighting, anyway? Isn't this inevitable? Hadn't mother seen that this would be how we perished?

We're tied back-to-back to a large thick pole, and I struggle to find a steady footing on all of the wood and straw piled beneath us. Then they approach with torches. Looking over my shoulder, I tangle my fingers with Jane's as best as I can, and smile. She looks terrified, and I don't want that to be the last expression I see on the face I love so much.

I can hear the straw begin to ignite and crackle; Jane closes her eyes and concentrates. Fear begins to grip me, and I try to think about anything else other than where I am now. Mother talking to us while she stirred a pot, telling us what each ingredient she put in was for. Mother dragging a knife across a cow's throat as she sacrificed it. Laughing with Jane. Curling up with her to keep warm. Father's furious expression as I got something wrong and his hand strikes my face.

Looking down, I see that the wind is blowing the flames in Jane's direction, though I can still feel the scalding heat on my legs. The orange and yellow licks are getting closer and closer to her, but her eyes are still closed. It's then that I notice that the smoke is billowing up in a different direction, and starting to swirl around me. As I begin to cough, I wonder why the fire is defying the wind in this way.

"Jane? Jane, are you doing this?"

She doesn't answer me. Her brow is furrowed in concentration, and I can see her entire body is tense. The flames have reached the bottom of her dress, but still she says nothing. Her fingers tangle around mine even tighter.

Through my coughs, I beg her not to do this—that I don't want to have to see her burn first before it's my turn. She is doing a good job and the flames are avoiding me completely, though the black smoke is getting thicker and choking me. Through my watering, stinging eyes, I see a twisted smile play on her face, and then it gets too painful to see anything.

It's getting hard to breathe and I feel myself growing weaker, struggling to stand and relying on the post we're tied to for support. My mouth tastes like ash and my nose and throat burns. I feel scalding pain where my fingers join Jane's and I hear her meditation break as she begins to scream in agony. It sounds distant, and but growing fainter and fainter as I give up and embrace a sleep that I'm certain I'll never wake from.

But wake I do, after what only seems like a few unconscious moments, and finally the flames have found me. The smoke has gone and I can see nothing but pale, grey light and moving dark shadows.

I'm on fire. I begin to writhe and sob, and in the distance, I can still hear Jane screaming.

It seems to go on for days; there is no end to the torture, until finally, my extremities start to cool, and it feels like the fire is inside me, shrinking back to where my frantic heart beats in my chest. Relieved, I welcome the thought of death and no more pain.

My heart races, thudding louder than any drum until it stutters and goes still. My entire body relaxes.

And then I realize that I'm still aware. My eyes flicker open and I find myself looking up at a wooden ceiling; I can see a countless number of dust motes in the air above me, floating down to land on my face.

I will myself to sit up and it's a slow motion graceful movement.

Flames still linger in my throat, and I try to breathe through my nose in a futile attempt to soothe the pain. My nostrils flare and take in the scents on the air, of which there are many. One of them calls to me urgently.

"Jane!" My voice startles me, as it sounds smoother and not quite my own.

"Jane awoke first and she is having her first meal. I'm sure she'll come back to see you the second that she's finished. She's been quite anxious about you." The voice is mellow and patient. Somehow, I feel as if I already know it.

My eyes flick to the source. A pale man with dark hair, wearing black, stands at the base of the bed on which I'm lying on.

"Do not be alarmed, child. I will not harm you. That is the very last thing I wish to do. My name is Aro."

He inclines his head slightly, and I nervously look about the room as he continues.

"I have taken the liberty of finding out what has befallen you and your sister since your mother passed away, and I can see that things have been very difficult. If only we knew, we would have taken you somewhere safer earlier. Then you could have grown a little older…" The man sighs, and as his eyes meet mine, I notice their bright red color.

"Such a disagreeable situation, but at least we found you before it was too late. Now, dear child, let me get you someone to drink…"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

**Thanks, as always, to the wonderful WolvesCanEatMe, my cherished ficwife. Love ya, babe!**

**Sorry for the delay in updating all of my fics-I had an exam and I imposed a fanfic ban while I was revising. Now, I'm back, and glad about it!  
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Nessie POV

We travel a little further south before we stop. Expecting a sarcastic response when I suggest that Alec wants to go to Florida to see Disneyland, he actually smiles and says nothing.

See, I always knew he was a closet Disney fan.

We make camp, and though the trees are less dense and a different species, the rolling hills and mountains remind me of Olympic National Park—the place that I'll always consider my true home, no matter where my family might live at any given time.

It's nice, even if it brings a few pangs of homesickness to the surface.

As I finish pitching my tent, I think about the times I rode my own big red dog through the dark green and brown woods, laughing with delight as Jake allowed me to treat him like a pet. Was that something I had continued to do once I grew into a teenage girl? Did I think of my imprinted wolf as a possession, not a person in his own right?

Part of me thinks that I might have always taken Jake for granted, while another part of me smarts at his rejection all over again.

Things would be a lot different if he'd loved me back in the way he was supposed to, but then wouldn't I still be at home, locked inside my ivory tower? Wasn't this freedom…making my own way in the big bad world?

I look over at Alec. If I hadn't ran away, I wouldn't have met my meat-eating friend, and I certainly wouldn't be having this adventure.

Maybe this is my rite of passage? I may have failed at the first hurdle, but I'm sure there'll more opportunities to show that I can do the right thing and be a responsible adult. Then when I go home older and wiser, maybe my family will sit up and take notice.

Maybe Jake will finally take notice, too…

I shake the thought from my head as I try and choke down the lump forming in my throat. Using the palms of my hands as hammers, I do a thorough job of making sure the pegs are firmly in the ground—it's good therapy.

"Be careful, Ness—you might break a nail." Alec has been sitting on the grass, watching me work. Turning, I raise my eyebrows at him. He's been reasonably affable today—by his standards, anyway. Or maybe I'm just getting used to his sarcastic comments and sly digs to the point where I don't notice them anymore.

"You know, for someone who took it so badly when he found out that the Volturi were on our trail, you seem remarkably chilled out about it now."

Alec leans his back against a tree. "I have an instinct for these things. They're not particularly close right now, if they're following us at all."

I walk over to where he is, and sit cross-legged a few feet away, fishing in my bag for a cereal bar.

"What?" I take a large bite, and then continue speaking with a full mouth. "You have a talent?"

"Manners, please!" Alec frowns as I spray a few crumbs in his direction. "I have many talents, but nothing particularly supernatural—other than being a vampire, of course. A full vampire, might I add." He smirks. "I can track a little, and I have a slight instinct for knowing when I'm getting myself into dangerous situations. Luck…intuition…call it what you may."

Crumpling the foil wrapper, I tuck my litter into a side pouch of my bag.

"So what you're saying is that you're just run of the mill." I pause for a second. "Is it really common, meeting talented vampires?" I ask eagerly. I know that Grandpa Carlisle knows a number of other covens, and I'm already aware of my family's uniqueness, but how often are vampires blessed or cursed with powers beyond that of a standard vampire?

"If I had a dollar for every tracker I'd come across in my time, I'd be a rich man. The same with freakishly strong vampires. Common as muck." Alec gives a wicked grin and seems to look over my shoulder. I don't see the humor in what he is saying. "Other talents less so. And those are the ones that the Volturi are really interested in. They collect exceptional vampires, and the best of the rest."

"That must be why they wanted Mom, Dad, and Aunt Alice so much."

Alec cocks his head. "Well, aren't you the popular ones. I still haven't figured out why they are so interested in _you_. You can put pictures into other people's minds—that might come in handy if your DVD player breaks down, but I can hardly see the Volturi wanting you for that."

"Thanks," I snap, but then I chew my lip as I realize the truth in what he's saying. "They probably want me to experiment on, being half-human, half-vampire. Either that or they want to use me as leverage to persuade my family to join them."

"Hmmm." Alec loses interest in the conversation, and a silence falls.

As we sit there, it begins to get light and I'm the first to speak again. "Tell me about England. I've never been."

I have Alec's full attention. "England? Where do I start? It's been a while since I've done anything but pass through."

I ask, "What was it like when you were still human? I never saw the Middle Ages. Educate me—tell me about where you lived."

His eyes narrow, and the expression puzzles me, until the stormy look drifts away and his face clears. I want to know what it is that puts Alec so on edge whenever I want to know something personal about him.

"It was just your standard castle—a big circle made of stone, buildings in the middle, moat around the outside."

"You had a moat? Seriously?"

Alec glares. "If you're going to interrupt then I'm not going to tell you."

"Uh-uh. I want to hear about castles." I give him my fiercest "you're going to do this and you're going to like it" face that I learned from Aunt Alice. "No more interruptions."

I pull an invisible zipper across my lips, closing them.

For an hour, I sit cross-legged, patiently listening to Alec's description of a "standard" English castle and the surrounding lands. It doesn't escape me that now and again his face twitches, the expression a swiftly guarded wince, and it's then that I realize the amount of pain involved in journeying back to this period of his life.

This glimpse of what lies beyond his sarcastic and cold front makes him seem almost vulnerable. He isn't top of the food chain anymore; he's almost human.

He focuses on scenery—the thickness of the woods, rolling green hills, dirt paths that turned into quagmires when it rained, which it did often. The physical description of the castle is cold and impersonal. The size of the hall, the kitchens, the stables, how many bedrooms—nothing about the people who lived there, but I keep my promise to just listen.

I learn a lot about my traveling companion without him saying a single word about himself.

Underneath the hardness and the bloodlust of being a vampire, he's hurting. He's a scared boy, lashing out to avoid anyone getting too close.

This is what I need. This is how I redeem Alec , and that redemption is how I show my family that I'm not just a child who needs locking inside a tower, cosseted away from the harsh realities of life.

Alec finishes and looks at me for a moment. Pain flickers in his eyes, but is quickly masked. He inhales. "And that's all there is to know about the castle I grew up in," he lies, and gets to his feet, seemingly to walk away from our camp.

I smile, trying to look as sweet an innocent as possible. "Do you want to know everything there is about where I grew up?"

Alec pauses and looks back. He's curious, I can tell, but he puts on his nonchalant face. "Why not? It'll kill some time." He retakes his seat, his legs tucked up tightly and his arms hugging them. It's not hard to recognize it as a self-comforting position.

Shuffling forward so I'm on my knees directly in front of him, I see the exact moment where his body objects to my closeness, and the next thing I know, he's bolting across the clearing.

"What are you doing?" he asks, but now I know what I'm looking for, I can hear the hidden panic.

Standing up and facing him, I dust off my trousers. "I'm tired, and you said yourself that we've got to keep traveling by night to stay ahead of the Volturi. If I'm going to get some sleep today, then I've got to be quick. I was going to show you."

Alec screws his face up. "As if I'd want your inferior half-human hands on me. No, thanks." He turns quickly and goes to leave.

"Coward."

He freezes and then turns around. It's Alec the vampire that turns around, and he's angry.

"You're scared. It's so obvious when you act like that."

I watch as Alec materializes in front of me, his fury rolling off him in waves. "I am not scared."

"You are, too," I say calmly and Alec takes a step closer.

His voice is low and menacing as he almost whispers, "_I__am__not__scared_."

I hold my hand out, and then twist it one way and then the other. "It's just a hand. What is it about it that makes you run for the hills?"

Alec's nostrils flare. "I don't want your girl cooties all over me. Disgustingly human."

"Come on now, Alec. Now you sound like you're in kindergarten." I do my best to sound like a teacher scolding a little boy, knowing exactly how irritating that tone can be for a teenager. "Just let me use my talent just this once, show me you're not a coward, and then I'll apologize and eat my words."

Watching the cogs ticking in Alec's mind for almost a minute, I see him brace himself. "It's no big deal, but I'm going to need those antibacterial wipes after to disinfect myself."

Keeping my enthusiastic smile hidden and my expression serious, I limber myself up. Holding the palm of my hand out, I slowly, slowly lift it in the direction of Alec's face. Making no sudden movements, I watch him stiffen, seemingly fighting the urge to recoil and run away.

He can see me looking and tries his best to hide the fact his body is involuntarily leaning away from me. As my hand gets closer to his cheek, he begins to suck in lungfuls of air, and I begin to feel guilty about how much stress I'm causing him.

"Don't worry, it's not so bad." I reassure him with a calming tone, and then I finally make contact. His cheek is cold, smooth, and solid, just like I expected it to be. My thumb follows the line of his cheek bone, and the rest of my fingers rest where his jaw meets his neck, just under his ear.

I give him a few moments to adjust, and then I allow the memories to flow.

An orange sunset showing the slope down the main lawn toward the house. Inside, I show the living room—Jasper and Emmett playing chess, Alice flicking through a catalog with Rosalie, Grandma Esme dusting, and Grandpa Carlisle and Mom talking in the corner. Dad is playing the piano. It's a light and airy image, and everyone is smiling.

Next, I show Alec pictures of the last time I went hunting with Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie. Moving through trees at speed, there's a glimpse of a deer ahead, and I try to give the sense of exhilaration and fun.

Next, I switch to my old home back in Washington, and more specifically, sitting on the couch next to Grandpa Charlie, humoring him as he reads me an old children's book that used to belong to Mom. It's a warm and dusty memory, and I can't help but smile at it myself.

Then, I show him the view of racing through the Olympic Forest on wolfback. Alec's eyes widen.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

His only response is a grin so wide the sun glints off his teeth.

He likes the wolf memory, so I show him more. I show him a play fight between Quil and Seth, and the grin stretches wider. And then I switch to cliff diving at La Push, into the cold, grey ocean below.

That's when my own thoughts start to drift. I always did have more fun living dangerously with the wolf pack than I did in the safe and secure environment provided by my family. Maybe that's why I always felt like I belonged to Washington, my spiritual home.

My fun times at La Push may be over, but I could certainly have fun living on the edge with Alec, right?

Bringing my attention back to Alec, who's now seeing an awesomely executed swandive by Jacob in his mind's eye , from the point of the ocean below, I take in the fact that his unnecessary breaths are more shallow. My gaze runs over his face, and his pupils dilate as I watch; they become so wide that his eyes are black. He swallows back a mouthful of venom.

I think of Alec's mouth, and for some reason my mind can't move on. This is now the picture that I'm sending to him, all else forgotten.

My breathing gets heavier, and I look into the black holes staring back at me. My lips part and I'm acutely aware of the proximity between his body and mine.

Like magnets, I feel myself slowly moving toward him, and he tentatively does the same. The hand on his cheek drifts around into the hair at the nape of his neck; shaking, Alec's hands rest on my upper arms, near my elbow.

Our faces move toward each other, and I subconsciously tilt as the inches turn into fractions of an inch. Slowing to an excruciating pace, my eyes close and my fleshy lips meet his marble.

Inside, I'm churning, and my heart thuds like a drum. There's a twinge in my hips as I drag my bottom lip over his, and he opens his mouth ever so slightly.

And then there's movement, and by the time I open my eyes and look for him, he's gone. I'm standing there alone. In the distance, there's a sound of the splintering of wood, and a rumble through the ground when a tree crashes to the earth. The strangled yell of frustration I hear tells me that it wasn't felled by accident.

It's then that the hormones stop clouding my brain and it hits me. _Oh__my__God_, I kissed Alec. Involuntarily, I touch my lips with my fingertips.

I'm almost about to think, "Eww," and then it strikes me that firstly, it wasn't that bad, and secondly, I really didn't mind it at all.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

**I do not own Twilight, no copyright infringement intended.**

Nessie POV

After a few stunned moments, I climb in the tent and curl up inside of my sleeping bag. Sleep is a long time coming, but it comes eventually. In my dreams, I'm playing a game of spin the bottle with the wolf pack and Alec. For some reason, the bottle keeps choosing Alec, and this time he doesn't run away and turn it into a game of kiss chase.

When my eyes open and I see that it's pitch black beyond the canvas, and hear the distant sounds of night creatures, I'm grateful to find that I'm still alone. The last thing I want is to have to face the focus of my dreams while they're still fresh in my mind.

I don't get why I've suddenly started thinking about him in that way. After all, he's no Jake. He's a strange almost-child vampire like myself, and he has a major attitude problem—not to mention the whole mass murderer thing. Not exactly relationship material.

Though I have to admit to myself that I don't think he's bad looking. He is kind of cute…especially when his guard comes down.

I sit there for a moment before looking at my watch—it's already eleven and Alec wants to travel at night. Firing into action, I pack away my belongings and take down my tent. Then I wait for Alec to show up, and then I wait a little more.

By twelve, I call for him a few times, but there's no answer other than a few startled wild animals. I wander the perimeter at one, and at two I'm sitting on my pack, eating a cereal bar, and wondering if the kiss has scared him off for good.

By half past four, I've decided that I'm on my own, and that I'm going to move south during daylight hours, staying somewhere where there are lots of people and bright sunshine in the hope that it will hinder the Volturi on my trail.

Then I remember the stories about the newborn armies of the South and Uncle Jasper's ex, Maria, and change my mind. That's one friend of the family I don't want to visit. Maybe I'll stick to the north…I decide to head north east. It's about time I saw our nation's capital, and Philadelphia—New York, too, without Mom hiding in fear from Alice and her inexhaustible credit card.

Credit cards…well, I'm certainly going to see a different side to New York if I go there, that's for sure. I doubt that there are many good places to pitch a tent in the big city.

I'm trudging along, my bag on my back, making my way down the side of a steep hill, when I realize that I'm no longer alone. For a moment, I freeze, thinking that the Volturi are on me; panicking, I wonder which way to run, or whether I'm best holding my ground and hoping my family will come to my rescue.

Alec steps out from behind a tree and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Oh, it's only you." I give a breathy laugh. "I thought you were the Volturi."

Alec scowls. "Why would you think that?"

My relief shifts into awkwardness—I wasn't expecting him to be aggressive. "Erm…when you jumped out from the shadows just like a cheesy horror villain, that's when. Jeez." Alec looks down at his feet. "Where were you anyway? I thought you'd bolted."

"Feeding." He lifts his eyes to mine and twists his face into something resembling a smile. I'm not convinced—by the smile or his excuse; his eyes are dark burgundy, not bright red. Does he really think I was born yesterday?

Still, given his excuse, I'm not about to ask for details, and I turn and continue my route down the mountain. Why did I kiss this guy again? He's the biggest jerk I've ever met.

I realize I'm breathing heavily through my nostrils as I stomp away, so I try to look less affected. Looking over my shoulder, I see Alec is hanging behind by a few paces, and he turns away rather than meet my gaze.

Boys—I'll never understand them.

A jumble of thoughts attempt to untangle themselves in my mind, and the edge of the sky is lightening by the time I stop in my tracks to speak to the silent stalker behind me.

"Look, stop getting all emo about it. It was a kiss. I'm sorry—it was a mistake. There, is that better? Are you going to act like an adult and speak to me now, or are you just going to sulk?"

The look on Alec's face twists into disdain. "It's not me that's doing the sulking."

Making a noise of exasperation, I drop my bag on ground. "I'm making camp here. You can go scuttle off into the wilderness again if that's what you want. You know I'm not forcing you to be here."

While I loosen the canvas bag containing my tent, Alec steps toward me.

"You're dismissing me? I don't think so. Before I go anywhere you're going to take back the fact you called me a coward, like you said you would if I let you get your grubby paws all over me."

Giving a gasp of indignation, I stand upright. "If you hadn't ran for the hills immediately after, maybe I'd take it back. As it is, I think you're a bigger coward than ever."

Alec hisses viciously and for a brief second I'm taken aback, but then I recognize that I've just struck a nerve and smile victoriously. "You might have red eyes, Alec, but it seems to me that they should be _yellow_ instead." Yellow eyes to go with his yellow belly….

His voice is a raspy growl. "I ran because I'd had enough of you slavering all over my face. You kiss like a fish."

The words hit me like a punch to the stomach, and my retort catches in my throat.

I don't kiss like a fish. I know I don't—I've kissed at least seven boys and everyone seemed to like it. They didn't complain.

Cam would be honest, right? But there again, I'm the wrong sex for him. Kissing him at parties and the like was always just for show and not something we did because we enjoyed it. Demi—we practiced our kissing together before we did it with boys for real, and she always said I was really good.

But they were all humans. How much of it was just them being overwhelmed by my half-vampire allure?

Alec isn't human. He probably has a more objective view…

_Do I really kiss like a fish?_

Alec is watching my reaction, and I feel like he's going to say something, but then he changes his mind.

"Go away, Alec."

He stands there for a few seconds before speaking. "I'll bring you some squirrels for breakfast. You can't have many cereal bars left."

I don't say thanks, even though he waits for it. When he does finally turn away, I find my voice.

"Alec…was it your…your first kiss?"

"No." His response is too quick and his tone full of teenage insolence, but he looks genuine. I believe him. We say nothing more before he disappears and I'm left to set up my camp on my own.

Once I'm inside my shelter, I submerge myself in my sleeping bag and allow myself a few sobs.

It's stupid to let one idiot boy make me doubt myself, and part of me knows that he's just making me insecure to hide the fact he's insecure himself, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. Why do supernatural men have to be such assholes?

My sobs grow quiet and my tears dry on my cheeks as I fall fast asleep.

Alec POV

This time when I leave, I don't go as far. Last night, I'd covered one hundred miles before Felix and Demetri stopped me and reminded me of my mission.

Ness is right—I'm a coward.

I don't even know why I ran; all I know was that for a very brief second, I was kissing a girl and I liked it. Then I started thinking, too many things were shouting at me at once, and the only way to stop it was to run as fast and as far away as I could from the source of the confusion.

I wasn't lying when I said that it wasn't my first, but kissing Ness and experimentally kissing my future lunches are light years apart. Something tells me that it's not the simple difference between half and full human.

Demetri tried to get me to talk about it, but he got a dose of senselessness for his efforts. The last thing I want is to chat about girl problems with an undead Don Juan.

I don't _want_ to be interested in girls, and especially not Ness. There are other, much more important things to worry about, like my next feed, the fact that the Cullens are falling for Felix and Demetri's ruses less, and how I'm going to get Ness to come back to Italy when I'm behaving like this.

Half of me smiles at the thought of bringing Ness back to my home, and part of me dreads it. How will she react when she finds out I'm really a member of the Volturi? I saw her face when I stepped out and scared her earlier; I might as well have been the boogie man.

I also saw her face when I lied and told her she kissed like a fish. Accustomed to fixing uncomfortable situations with a sarcastic remark and having the last word, I didn't like it when she reacted the way she did. She looked…crushed.

The memory twists an icy knife of shame in my chest, just like it did the first time, and I close my fingers over my face at the unfamiliar emotional agony.

Able to despair privately this time, I'm glad that I suggested thqat Demetri and Felix might take a scenic detour to confuse our tracks and keep the Cullens away. It seems that they're trying to give Ness a long leash, but they're constantly getting in the way of our plans—to the point where we've had to stop making any conscious decisions for a while.

Wandering aimlessly, I pluck a few furballs from the trees for Ness's breakfast; I'm surprised to find that I've come full circle, and I'm standing outside of at her tent. Licking my hand and coating the dead animals with a layer of venom to keep other creatures away, I carefully unzip the door and climb inside.

Even using all my vampire stealth, Ness still shifts position restlessly at my presence, and that's when I decide to flood the tent with mist. The last thing I want is for her to wake up and find me here as that will probably mean we have to talk about it again. That didn't work well earlier. I don't see why girls feel the need to go over everything—it's an annoying female habit that Jane shares.

Will Jane like Ness, I wonder?

As I ponder the question, I pull out my phone and remember that I hadn't replied to Jane's previous text. I do so now.

_Hey._

Jane must have stumbled over herself to read the message, as the phone lights up and she calls me. I ignore it.

_I__'__m__with__Ness.__No__phone__calls_, I text.

_Is__it__true?__Did__you__kiss__her?_ I growl at my phone when I read Jane's message, furious at Tweedledee or Tweedledum for passing on my secret.

_Yeah. What of it?_

_Alec!__It__'__s__Renesmee__Cullen!__Are__you__out__of__your__tiny__little__mind?_ I'm starting to get annoyed by Jane's tone and her over usage of punctuation.

_Look,__if__you__can__'__t__be__sensible,__I__'__m__not__going__to__message__you,__Jane._ I press send and then hastily type another before she replies. _I__'__m__1200__years__old__—__I__can__kiss__who__I__want._

_I can't believe you kissed her. _

_What was it like?_

_Do you like her?_

_Alec?_

_Alec?_

_Fine, be like that. I'm not that interested anyway…_

I continue to ignore Jane's texts and put my cell back in my pocket. The last text I read and my automatic reaction of mentally calling my twin childish made me think about my own immaturity.

Ness's real age might be the same age as my physical age, and my long centuries on earth might have made me more worldly wise, but she is so much more mature than I am. And what's more, she will keep maturing, growing closer to adulthood, where I'm stuck here in this barely pubescent body.

To make things worse, she's already taller than I am. Elite Volturi Guard I may be, but this half-vampire is so far out of my league it scares me.

Looking at her sleeping, I take a few deep breaths and then hold it in. Chances are that the air I've inhaled has touched Ness's skin, and probably even been inside her lungs, too.

I'm being stupid and I know it, and so let the air back out.

The room is full of the clouds I'm so adept at creating, and I see the fog rolling over Ness's face. She's been crying, and a few random strands of her hair are stuck to her face.

Hesitantly, I lean over her and brush them away, secure in the knowledge that, thanks to me, she won't feel a thing.

Once the task is done, I give her cheek another brush just to be sure I got them all, but my fingers refuse to leave her skin and settle on her jaw line. They trace their way around to her chin, but then they pause before their route can go up towards her mouth.

_Too__much.__Too__quick,_ I think, and then I'm overwhelmed by guilt, self-disgust, and most of all, longing. I pull my fingers away, but not before I think about how much I want to get closer and put my mouth on hers again.

That is as stupid as those human girls who kiss the posters of movie stars or musicians on their walls when they think no one is looking. Ness can't see, hear, or feel me do anything. Kissing her like that would be cheating—it would prove me to be even more cowardly.

Still, I touched her. My fingers were on her skin of my own volition, and it wasn't with any intention of hurting her. See, my brain tells me, touching doesn't always have to be painful, and Ness didn't hurt you either.

That's when another part of me, the side that keeps all my human experiences that sting so much at bay, disagrees. But she did hurt you—look at how much you're hurting right now. Don't let her in. Don't trust her. Don't touch her. That will only cause you more pain.

My mind is at war with itself again, so I unzip the door and allow my mist to dissipate as I step outside and close the tent back up. Immediately, I want to be back inside with Ness, and where it's warm and cozy, but I tell myself that I should call Demetri and Felix for a tactical update to take my mind off things.

Walking away from the tent, I wait until I'm a good half mile away before I bring out my phone.

Nessie POV

In my dream, I'm crouched on a window ledge halfway up a skyscraper. It's raining heavily and I can feel my clothes and my hair sticking to me. Wiping away the water from the glass, I look inside. In the room beyond, every boy I've ever kissed—and Jake—are sitting around comparing notes on me, and it's not pleasant to listen to.

Jake laughs loudly. "Can you believe she thought we were an item? She's just a kid!" The others join in with a variety of mocking chuckles. "Now, Leah—she's _all_woman."

I chew my lip and look down. For a moment, I consider allowing myself to let go and fall to the ground, but then a thick black cloud floats down from the sky and covers everything.

The second it touches me, the dream vanishes, and there's nothing but the dark. I try to shout out, "Hello," but there's something about the cloud that swallows my voice immediately. My thoughts aren't even good company; I feel slower than usual, as if the fog is in my mind, too. It's draining me, and I believe that if it doesn't go soon, I'll fade away into nothing.

But then the cloud disappears and the dream has changed. This time I'm at Disneyland on a bright sunny day, and when I look to my right, I can see Alec posing for a photo with Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse.

The sun is glinting off him, but humans walk by without giving him a second glance.

"Ness, are you going to take the picture or not?" Alec yells, and I find that there is an old box camera on a tripod in front of me.

"Oh, yeah. Right. Sorry." I bend down, pull the black cloth over my head, and squeeze the button to take the shot. Then I stand up and wait as the picture comes out the side like a modern Polaroid camera.

Shaking the picture as it develops, I hum _Hey__Ya_ by Outkast, and look down at my handiwork.

"Is it a good one?" Alec yells, his face all full of smiles and sparkling diamonds.

My own smile drops as I look at the photograph. Instead of standing between Mickey and Donald in bright sunshine, Alec is dressed all in black, and suddenly his smile seems sinister. To either side of him stand two other vampires that I'm almost sure I know; the background of the shot is rolling green and black clouds, and the floor is a pool of blood.

Shocked, I drop the Polaroid to the ground.

"I think I got your bad side," I say tactfully, and then get him to pose again. He smiles even wider, looking even more sparkly and bright.

The photo comes out wrong again, and again, and again.

"Piece of junk camera," I sigh and then push it over, watching it break into pieces as it smashes against the cobblestones. "I much prefer sparkly, light Alec."

"What's that?" Alec asks and walks over.

"Nothing." I take his hand in mine. "Now…Space Mountain…"


End file.
